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 Worst Script Ideas Ever

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Vesper
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PostSubject: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Wed Feb 29, 2012 8:05 am

What's the worst script idea you ever had or heard?

I actually wrote twenty pages of this gem a couple of years back...

Quote :
[JACKIE BIG TITS]
A film following the dysfunctional life of a thirty-something, alcoholic, chain smoking woman with large breasts through her decision to get a breast reduction.

. laugh

Inspired by the sometimes-great blog The Bitter Script Reader
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Gravity's Silhouette
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Wed Feb 29, 2012 8:20 am

Vesper wrote:
What's the worst script idea you ever had or heard?

I actually wrote twenty pages of this gem a couple of years back...

Quote :
[JACKIE BIG TITS]
A film following the dysfunctional life of a thirty-something, alcoholic, chain smoking woman with large breasts through her decision to get a breast reduction.

. laugh

Inspired by the sometimes-great blog The Bitter Script Reader

Two come to mind. Back in the mid-80's when Cannon Studios was attempting to put a SPIDER-MAN movie together one of the original ideas was for the film to be about a literal SPIDER. No Peter Parker in it. Just a movie about a spider with special abilities.

Another bad script idea was the original idea to set THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA in Los Angeles, and an earthquake opens a portal to Narnia. Thank God someone came to their senses and went back to the source material.
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AMC Hornet
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Thu Mar 01, 2012 10:26 am

The makers of the Harry Potter film series briefly considered moving Hogwarts to America, in order to engage their largest target audience (and we all know how rich American history is when it comes to appreciating and respecting wizardry and witchcraft).

Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed. Imagine:

Mr Harry Potter
The closet under the stairs
12 Privet Lane
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

I wonder whether Voldemort would have still been British, to "balance things out"?
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bitchcraft
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Thu Mar 01, 2012 11:22 am

Mostly anything that includes Uwe Boll as a common denominator.
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Control
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Thu Mar 01, 2012 11:35 am

Pretty much everything I've ever written up to 2010 has been shit.

That's why I bring CASINOROYALE coffee every morning on the set of TRANNIES 4: MACHINES OF THE PAST.
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Thu Mar 01, 2012 1:29 pm

AMC Hornet wrote:
The makers of the Harry Potter film series briefly considered moving Hogwarts to America, in order to engage their largest target audience (and we all know how rich American history is when it comes to appreciating and respecting wizardry and witchcraft).

Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed. Imagine:

Mr Harry Potter
The closet under the stairs
12 Privet Lane
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

I wonder whether Voldemort would have still been British, to "balance things out"?
That is so wrong. So wrong.
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CJB
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Thu Mar 01, 2012 2:39 pm

AMC Hornet wrote:
The makers of the Harry Potter film series briefly considered moving Hogwarts to America

Nowhere near Salem, Massachusetts I should hope or we'd be seeing Harry Potter and The Deathly Gallows.
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Prisoner Monkeys
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Thu Mar 01, 2012 6:40 pm

Vesper wrote:
What's the worst script idea you ever had or heard?
I once had an idea that involved some kind of white supremacist milita movement-cult thing trying to fulfil Charles Manson's "Helter Skelter" prophecies by starting a race war between African-Americans and Latinos, confident that both sides would kill one another off and that whites would rule the United States with the constituiton and Bill of Rights replaced by the Bible.

I was aiming for a villain who was wholly dedicated to his cause, but it just came off as super-critical of organised religion.
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Control
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Thu Mar 01, 2012 6:49 pm

AMC Hornet wrote:
(and we all know how rich American history is when it comes to appreciating and respecting wizardry and witchcraft).

laugh
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AMC Hornet
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:36 am

CJB wrote:
AMC Hornet wrote:
The makers of the Harry Potter film series briefly considered moving Hogwarts to America

Nowhere near Salem, Massachusetts I should hope or we'd be seeing Harry Potter and The Deathly Gallows.

:lol!:
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j7wild
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Sat Mar 10, 2012 12:03 pm

any Twilight movie
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Gravity's Silhouette
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Sat Mar 10, 2012 12:46 pm

Bond discussing his feelings over cocktails with M.
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Sat Mar 10, 2012 3:16 pm

GS' idea of a good Bond film. That would be horrible.
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Sat Mar 10, 2012 3:22 pm

THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS is horrible?
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Prisoner Monkeys
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Sat Mar 10, 2012 4:53 pm

No, I mean that I imagine that if GS was commissioned to write a script, he would likely go out to prove a point - ie that Babs is the anti-Christ. He would make no attempt to hide his agenda, and the end result would likely be a bloated, over-written mess of a film.
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Sun Mar 11, 2012 11:11 am

Prisoner Monkeys wrote:
No, I mean that I imagine that if GS was commissioned to write a script, he would likely go out to prove a point - ie that Babs is the anti-Christ. He would make no attempt to hide his agenda, and the end result would likely be a bloated, over-written mess of a film.

Like QUANTURD OF SOLACE? Yeah, no "agenda" there (wink, wink).

Does EON pay you under the table to come in here and defend them, or do they just leave a wad of cash on your nightstand?
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Prisoner Monkeys
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Sun Mar 11, 2012 12:42 pm

I never said that QUANTUM OF SOLACE was a good film. You appear to have misinterpreted some of my earlier comments in another thread. I said that there was some uproar when it first became known that the film would contain a scene where Bond and Camille would discuss the nature of killing. But the actual lines in question - when Bond tells her not to over-compensate for the adrenaline rush - weren't that bad. They weren't the philosophy-heavy moral-quandry psycho-babble that people were expecting.
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Gravity's Silhouette
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Sun Mar 11, 2012 1:00 pm

Prisoner Monkeys wrote:
I never said that QUANTUM OF SOLACE was a good film. You appear to have misinterpreted some of my earlier comments in another thread.

I'm not misinterpreting your words. I'm interpreting Daniel Craig's words from his interview with TOTAL FILM, where he admits in the April 2008 Issue 139 interview, on page 74, that the film has an agenda:

"We're not out to make some bold political statement, but there is something in this movie that we're keen to put across: a twist. I don't want to say too much about it, but yes, if you're going to make a spy movie then you have to refer to the world outside."

"Look, we're reinventing the character to some degree. We have to discover what he's about," says Craig.

Michael G. Wilson on "M" having more to do in QUANTURD OF SOLACE: "She really kicks ass."

Basically, every talking point that was assigned to QOS is being recycled for SKYFALL. Like the fetuses at Planned Parenthood, I wasn't born yesterday. I've read all this nonsense before, only this time it's going to be A-list, Oscar-winning nonsense.



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Prisoner Monkeys
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Sun Mar 11, 2012 1:07 pm

If you're so convinced that it will be an aberration, the solution is simple: don't watch it.
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Vesper
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Sun Mar 11, 2012 3:12 pm

Condoms are in the drawer guys.
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Sun Mar 11, 2012 3:15 pm

I remember way back, when this thread was about bad script ideas. I think I'll toddle over to CBn, where posters are being civil to each other...
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Sun Mar 11, 2012 3:30 pm

MEN IN BLACK 3 sounds like a trainwreck in the making. Does anyone even want the film to be made? MEN IN BLACK 2 is perhaps the most unnecessary sequel in cinematic history; MEN IN BLACK 3 sounds like it is going to be the most unnecessary sequel to an unnecessary sequel. But hey, studios have to find something for Will Smith to do ...
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Sun Mar 11, 2012 3:41 pm

Vesper wrote:
Condoms are in the drawer guys.

Thank you for providing us with free berf control. I'm just a 3rd year law student out of Harvard struggling to make ends meet on $50,000 a year. Berf control for men is expensive. It can cost us up to $7 dollars a month to purchase a pack of Trojans. After spending money on beer, cable, Internet, cell phone service, movies, pizza Fridays, and video games, there's almost no money at the end of the month to pay for recreational drugs AND reproductive services. Thankfully we've got you and the American taxpayer to help subsidize my our poor lifestyle choices.

Thanks y'all.
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j7wild
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Sun Mar 11, 2012 5:11 pm

they are making a Monopoly movie!!

how the heck do you make a movie out of Monopoly, a board game?

who is going to be the main actor?

Donald Trump?
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Vesper
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PostSubject: Re: Worst Script Ideas Ever   Sun Mar 11, 2012 6:47 pm

Gravity's Silhouette wrote:
Vesper wrote:
Condoms are in the drawer guys.

Thank you for providing us with free berf control. I'm just a 3rd year law student out of Harvard struggling to make ends meet on $50,000 a year. Berf control for men is expensive. It can cost us up to $7 dollars a month to purchase a pack of Trojans. After spending money on beer, cable, Internet, cell phone service, movies, pizza Fridays, and video games, there's almost no money at the end of the month to pay for recreational drugs AND reproductive services. Thankfully we've got you and the American taxpayer to help subsidize my our poor lifestyle choices.

Thanks y'all.

laugh

And then they'll complain about the lack of jobs for law graduates at the end of it all and blame society for their failure to do their research before the LSAT.
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