Worst names ever

We should start a list of the worst names you have ever come across, whether in real life or maybe someone famous or semi-famous. I'll get the ball rolling.

Let's start with Destinee Hooker. Do I even need to tell you what this girl looks like with the name Destinee? Shockingly enough, she didn't grow up to be a hooker just yet, but she's on the U.S. Indoor Volleyball Olympic Team.

Keith Keith. His first name was Keith, and his family's last name was Keith. :roll:

Dick Trickle: Retired NASCAR driver (granted, his birth name was Richard, but didn't they think even back in 1941 that people might use the shortened form of Richard, "Dick"? Maybe they were much more innocent and naive back then).

I always thought Beyonce was pretty idiotic. Certainly hasn't held her back, though.

Shaquille is not a whole lot better.

Then there's former Arizona State linebacker Vontaze Burfict.

In general, I don't have much use for names that parents just pull out of their rectum and slap on their unsuspecting infants.

One of my fave singers, Dido, wasn't too thrilled with how her parents named her....

Dido Florian Cloud de Bounevialle O'Malley Armstrong. She claimed Florian is a man's name too.

You don't see many Dido's around...if any others exist. Not to mention it's too close to Dildo, or Dodo.

I'd also have great difficulty calling my son Zowie (Bowie) or Ziggy (Marley) or John (just too fucking common).

One of the guys from Duran Duran changed his surname from Bates to Rhodes...cuz in school they'd refer to him as Master Bates...

IIRC, Dido was a Carthagenian goddess. Pretty heady lineage there. Still, it doesn't work too well in the Anglophone world.

There's a guy in Vancouver named Harry Sack.

Named after his old man, no doubt.

Drax wrote:

There's a guy in Vancouver named Harry Sack.

There's a YouTube video of a local newscast covering a story involving the naming/renaming of a street or center after a former mayor, Harry Ballz. What's amazing about the newscast is how deadly serious the reporter and both anchors are. Never once do they crack up, as the reporter mentions that the word "ballz" didn't have the same connotation in the 40's as it does today. There is simply no way I could have done that story without losing it.

This story involves a woman named Chardonnay Hooker:
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-cliff-survivor06,0,6763025.photo

There's also Blanket Jackson and Apple Paltrow.

I see lots of names in my job, mainly completely bizarre names given to children.

For example -

Thonglean
Zuz
Jagz

Then there's the "let's spell it wrong to look cool" brigade - although I may be being charitable there. Maybe they just spell it wrong because they can't spell.

Deezyl
Kyrhen
Kirun (Ciaran seems to be the most mis-spelled name going - there's several variations)
Khloee

Then there's the absolutely bizarre -

Bouqui
Che-Che

And the one that will always win any 'Stupid Name' competition hands down -

Kum.

The end times are upon us.

Maybe it's the non-Britishness in me but Benedict Cumberbatch is a terrible name. It almost sounds like his parents wanted to purposely give him a name that's a caricature of British names. Reminds me of Hubert Cumberdale from Salad Fingers.

Although anything tagged onto 'Cumberbatch' is going to suffer. I think they went the right way by embracing it.

A chap I work with went to school with twin boys, both called Benedict.

A couple we know 'phoned us up to announce the birth of one of their children. 'Imself asked the name, and was told "Honeysuckle". His reply - "No - really...."

:D

But then they went on to have a son rejoicing in the names Montgomery Benedict Brunel.

Jack Wade wrote:

Maybe it's the non-Britishness in me but Benedict Cumberbatch is a terrible name. It almost sounds like his parents wanted to purposely give him a name that's a caricature of British names. Reminds me of Hubert Cumberdale from Salad Fingers.

I think of Benedict Arnold when I hear the name. I think it's too much of a mouthful.

Michael Fassbender had a very unique name, but I suspect he was called "assbender" or simply "bender" in school. Looks like he's getting the last laugh.

Well, you can't do much about surnames, but the first names people give their kids should certainly be subject to some kind of 'stupidity test'.

Drax wrote:

we have a winner

I was having a discussion about this with some of the other teachers at school a few weeks ago. They've seen some weird ones - though they might have been having me on - like "La-a", which is pronounced "Ladasha". And "Shithead", which is pronounced "Shertheed".

The weirdest one I've come across is "Jackson", spelt "Jaxon". Although I tend to find that students with certain names - rather than weird names - tend to be difficult in general (though I have no idea why this might be). I've never had a good Jayden, Ethan or Blake in any of my classes.

I also met a "Jarmin" once, but his full name was "Benjamin" - when he was in primary school, there were two kids with the same name, so naturally one became "Ben" and the other became "Jarmin".

In my experience, guys named Chad have almost always been punks.

Prisoner Monkeys wrote:

The weirdest one I've come across is "Jackson", spelt "Jaxon".

Parents who rape names with bogan misspellings should probably be jailed.

Perilagu Khan wrote:

In my experience, guys named Chad have almost always been punks.

The few Chads I have know have always been treated as a running joke.

What about perfectly respectable names with one letter too many, like 'Dwayne' & 'Floyd'?

No wonder The Rock used a pseudonym - but why change it back?

It could be worse. I was reading an article in some magazine once that said a lot of people don't like "Nevaeh", which is "Heaven" spelled backwards. 'Virtue' names like "Hope" and "Destiny" were also poorly-received, as were hyphenated names, particularly those ending with "-Lee" and "-Lynn".

I can't remember what the worst ones for boys were.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oo8CrY_ZfFk

CJB wrote:

Prisoner Monkeys wrote:

The weirdest one I've come across is "Jackson", spelt "Jaxon".

Parents who rape names with bogan misspellings should probably be jailed.

Blue Ivy is another stupid fucking name.

I really loathe the name Siobhan. I mean really. The structure and phonetics don't match for starters, and secondly it just sounds terrible!

My cousin named her son Jax. :|

FieldsMan wrote:

I really loathe the name Siobhan. I mean really. The structure and phonetics don't match for starters, and secondly it just sounds terrible!

I think it can be excused, since it's a Gaelic name. It's a bit like "Niamh", which is pronounced "neev".