What will your tombstone say?

I want to be buried next to Mr. Dog and my tombstone will say "At last they're together again."

Meaning my legs.

"Um, you do know I was cremated, right?"

Names is for tombstones, baby and Take this honkey out and waste him.

"Waste him." - Is that a good thing?

Dunno about mine ... but I like both what Spike Milligan has on his - 'I told you I was ill', and what Billy Connolly says he wants on his (in tiny writing in the middle so people have get right up close to read it) - 'You're standing on my balls'.

Before my mother died, my father ordered a double marker with both their names on it.

"I've seen it," he told me after a visit to the memorial shop. "I'm not completely satisfied with it, but it's not like it's carved in stone or anything."

After my mother died and the marker was placed, I pointed out an error - or an omission, rather:

"Look Dad, they left your date of death off."

"I'll phone that in."

I told you I wasn't well.