Going

c

If a bloke asks me out, I expect him to pay. If I asked him out, I would pay - however I don't ask so it's never come up. It's not about the money. It's a courtship thing.

Rather outdated ideas that, Santa.
I'd feel uncomfortable about having him pick up the bill every time.

c

the man was a bit of a moron by stealing the phone, so she did not have the money to pay for those absurdly expensive drinks that is still no reason for stealing.

The lady in question could have been more open upfront about not having any money to spend when they started the date, especially since the prices were kind of daft.

Oh pathetic.  They are both a bit daft.  Even when it's been clear that the guy is paying, I always had emergency cash on me on a date. If she really didn't have any money, thinking he was going to pay, the guy can be disappointed but being angry shows a great deal of trouble to come... And now his face and name are plastered online.  Good luck with getting the next date, buddy.

As for going Dutch... done that as well as paid and had the other person pay. Really depends on the way the date came about. I've never paid on the first date but have insisted on a subsequent date, just to be fair. Doesn't matter how much money someone has, it's still nice for them to have someone take them for dinner or drinks.

Salomé wrote:

Rather outdated ideas that, Santa.

Sometimes the old ways are best. Santa loves a good buttered bun.

Salomé wrote:

Rather outdated ideas that, Santa.

I don't care. I'm an old fashioned kind of girl.

Salomé wrote:

I'd feel uncomfortable about having him pick up the bill every time.

Obviously that's not something that would go on forever. I should have been clear that that only applies at the beginning.

retrokitty wrote:

Doesn't matter how much money someone has, it's still nice for them to have someone take them for dinner or drinks.

Quite. It's not just a man/woman date thing - if I tell my friend I'm taking her out to dinner, the point is that I'll be treating her. If you ask someone out, you take them out, whether it's man, woman, child or reptile. Otherwise there's no taking out involved, it's just being at the same place, talking to each other, which is not the same as a date, with romantic intentions. There's nothing romantic about effectively saying "I'll take myself out and you take yourself out, together". In my case, I just don't ask men out. There are ways of making sure they do that.

c

To be honest, I find the whole idea of offering to 'go Dutch' rather crass. Asking someone out, in the sense we are discussing, signals romantic intent. If a man were to ask you out and take you to the park, and bring along a picnic, would you ask at the end "and what do I owe you for my half of the soggy sandwiches and warm wine"? Or if you get sent flowers, would you call and say "thank you, those are lovely - how much do I owe you"? Of course not - unless you're completely socially constipated.

Agreed. It's all in the language used though.

"May I take you for drinks?" says that the taker is buying.

"Let's go for drinks." leaves it up in the air and one should go with the intention to pay for themselves.

retrokitty wrote:

Agreed.  It's all in the language used though.  

"May I take you for drinks?" says that the taker is buying.

"Let's go for drinks." leaves it up in the air and one should go with the intention to pay for themselves.  

Definitely.

c

Your misanthropy is constant and predictable.

c

I'll let you off - for now.

c

The people who frequent my workplace are either old Englishmen or old lawyers and am married to a grammar nazi. It's a wonderful life but I'm afraid I have forgotten much about the real world and its literacy limitations.

I've always paid for a first date with a girl.

Maybe that's what I've been doing wrong all this time.

Salomé wrote:

Rather outdated ideas that, Santa.
I'd feel uncomfortable about having him pick up the bill every time.

If a guy feels uncomfortable with me picking up the bill, he needs to wake up and smell the coffee. Especially if I make more than him...which was the case with my first couple boyfriends, and both WERE intimidated by it.

It's lovely to be taken out and be pampered...but if I like you, expect to be treated too.