The writeup thread

Now that I'm here on BAB, and now that several people know that I post on the other forums under different names, I thought it was about time to start up a thread for my (in)amous write-ups. It's probably best to keep them all in one place, this time. And for my first entry, I'm going to do a writeup for SKYFALL, based on what we already know.

Be warned - there may be some spoilers involved.

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ISTANBUL, TURKEY -- James Bond (Daniel Craig) has been sent to Istanbul. "Neptune", an MI6 informant who has been dormant for the past twenty or so years, has suddenly resetablished contact. Given that this is incredibly uncharacteristic behaviour, M has assigned the case to Bond. He is accompanied by Eve (Naomie Harris), a local field agent, or an extra pair of eyes. The meeting with Neptune is due to take place in the Sultanahmet Square shortly before dusk. However, Neptune is late. This disturbs Bond since Neptune reappeared on MI6's radar without warning and has gone just as quickly. Something is clearly wrong. Bond and Eve begin to search the Square, and before long, they find Neptune - he's been stabbed. Eve begins to look for the killer, but Bond tells her not to. Neptune has been stabbed in such a way that he will bleed out slowly, and based on the amount of blood, the killer has had plenty of time to get away. Neptune, however, is not quite dead. He stirs, and sensing Bond's presence, he passes on a message: "Skyfall".

Neptune's phone rings, and he suggests that Bond should answer it before he finally dies. Bond finds that "James Bond" is calling Neptune; this is clearly a message. The killer is Matheus Salgueiro da Anunciação (Javier Bardem). Obviously, he doesn't give his name away at this point; I just need to refer to him as something other than "the killer". Bond tells Salgueiro that Salgueiro has his attention now, and asks what he wants; Salgueiro replies that what he wants is of no consequence, because how he intends to get it is the more important problem. As he speaks, the dot of a laser rangfinder appears at Eve's throat - Salgueiro has them in his sights, and he tells Bond not to take his eyes off her. As the exchange continues, Bond realises that Salgueiro did not kill Neptune in a such a way that it would give him time to escape, but rather that he killed Neptune in such a way that Neptune would do whatever it took to make sure his message was passed on. Salgueiro wanted Bond to hear the message. Furthermore, the dot at Eve's throat has not moved. Salgueiro isn't watching them at all - he has set up a laser on a tripod and aimed it at her to keep Bond busy while he escapes. Bond gives chase, reasoning that the quickest and easiest way out is via the waterfront. Sure enough, he sees a boat piloted by Severine (Berenice Marlohe) pulling away across the Bosphoros.

Bond calls Salgueiro back, and we finally see Bardem for the first time (in what would hopefully go down as an iconic reveal of the series). Bond tells Salgueiro that although he got away, he will not let Salgueiro win. Salgueiro replies that he has no intention of "winning" because he does not consider this to be a fight. Winning simply does not enter into the equation. Bond asks Salgueiro what he means by that, and Salgueiro says that Bond should probably ask Rene Mathis that question. When Bond tells him that Mathis is dead, Salgueiro replies with "That's too bad. He got off lightly."

So ends the PTS

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That's enough for now; it's 12:40am here. I'll try and get some more done tomorrow.

I'm liking it so far, though the laser sight shtick and the boat escape reminds be a little too much of TWINE. It's not easy coming up with something that will keep Bond and Eve distracted enough for Salgueiro to escap, but I think it should be something more creative.

If you're going to go with the unattended rifle, you need some eureka moment where Bond realises that no one's operating it. Like when he sees the chemical reaction in the drink, triggered by King's lapel pen.

Well, the original idea for the scene was Salguerio shooting Neptune from afar as soon as Neptune passed the message on. But that was such a cliche - the villain killing the source before the source can give away vital information - so I decided to play with it and have Saaguerio kill Neptune in such away that he would endeavour to get the message out.

As for the laser sight, I imagine that Bond would grow suspicious and try to bait Salguerio into an emotional response. Salguerio rises to the challenge, but the dot remains perfectly still at Eve's throat. This tips Bond off that it's a setup.

My original idea for the scene had Salguerio sitting on the opposite side of the Sqaure, watching Bond and Eve. When Bond races down to the waterfront (possibly using cues provided by Salguerio), the figure jumping onto the boat is someone else entirely, and we then cut back to Salguerio watching them. But I was afraid that woul be a bit too complex, with the dummy laser pointer and now a dummy getaway vehicle, and also that it would made Bond look stupid for not spotting Salguerio in the first place.

Anyway, on to Part 2:

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LONDON, ENGLAND -- Bond visits "the stacks", a repository of MI6 files that were so classified that they were never uploaded into electronic form, but destroying them would ask too many quetions and raise too many eyebrows. It is the place where "secrets go to die". He is looking for information on Neptune, Skyfall, and Rene Mathis. Mathis' is the only file that he actually finds, and even then, most of it is redacted. Frustrated, he reports in to M.

M is with Frederick Grey (Albert Finney), a powerful member of the Foreign Office. The situation with Neptune is deemed to be so serious that Downing Street has sent someone to watch over MI6 full time. However, before the briefing can begin, MI6 comes under attack. M and Grey are escorted to the building's secure parking area, where they are met with senior MI6 personnel. Bond boards a Range Rover with Bill Tanner, who updates Bond on the attacks. Bond realises that the attacks present no immediate threat to MI6 or M, and have been designed solely to get M out of the building. As the motorcade makes for a secure underground bunker, Bond takes control of the Range Rover - he believes that an ambush is waiting. He races M's Jaguar across the city to the bunker in Smithfield, and his instincts prove correct: someone is waiting for them. M and Grey arrive in the middle of a firefight, and Bond commandeers their Jaguar to escape.

As Bond tears across London, trying to get M and Grey to safety, he asks about Skyfall. Despite Grey's disapproval, tells Bond that Skyfall was an operation in the late 1980s to identify a Soviet spy (not a mole) in London, and turn him into a double agent. MI6 were always concerned that Neptune was a part of a wider spy ring operating in England, but they were never able to prove it, and Neptune himself was not considered to be reliable. M suspects that Salguerio (remember, we still don't know his name) is the leader of that ring, and is now trying to tie off loose ends. Bond asks why it would happen now; Neptune has been inactive for twenty years. M tells him that the Russians and the Chinese recently made a joint intelligence swap. Most of it was for show, with both sides giving away as little of actual value as possible. She suspects that the Russians gave away their intelligence on Skyfall, leaking Neptune's identity, which could be traced back to Salguerio. She instructs Bond to go to Shanghai.

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Yes, I know there are plot holes and contradictions in here. They're there for a reason.

Prisoner Monkeys wrote:

Yes, I know there are plot holes and contradictions in here. They're there for a reason.

Carelessness?

Erica Ambler wrote:

Carelessness?

No. When I write, I try not to have plot holes. And when I do find plot holes, I try and close them up. So if I've left them open, they're a part of the story.

So, Part 3:

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SHANGHAI, CHINA -- Bond meets Miles Messervy (Ralph Fiennes), though his character name is never given at this point of the story. Messervy is a Navy officer who was headhunted by the Ministry of Defence to one day run MI6. He has been put in charge of the MI6 station in Shanghai with his assistant, Moneypenny (Helen McCrory). Also present is Eve, who has been forwarded on from Istanbul because she already has some knowledge of Skyfall (she has heard the name, which is more than most can say for themselves). They form a plan to infiltrate a Chinese intelligence substation in the city that Messervy knows to be the place where the intelligence from the Russians was put. Knowing that most of it is useless and outdated, the Chinese have not bothered to go through it yet.

Bond and Eve infiltrate the substation on the 67th floor of the Jin Mao Tower. It is disguised as the office of the in-house physician for the residents of the upper floors. Bond uses a stethoscope to break into the safe, and is able to find the Skyfall file. They leave without being noticed, but an alarm sounds. Somebody else is in the building. That somebody is a Russian agent whose name I haven't decided yet (Ola Rapace) who is also looking for the Skyfall file. Bond, Eve and the Russians end up squaring off while Chinese intelligence - led by Huang Ya (Tang Wei) - close in. Bond is forced to surrender the Skyfall file. Knowing that he has not had a chance to read it, Eve lets herself be taken by the Russians, trying to get close to it. Bond escapes by jumping off the balcony, contolling his descent by catching onto the railing of the balcony below. He drops fifteen storeys, by passing the Chinese and evading the Russians.

With Messervy's help, Bond is able to narrow down the location of the Russians and Eve. They are attempting to leave the country by train. Bond chases them on a motorcycle, and end up performing the sequence that was planned for India - jumping onto a second train, boarding the Russian train, and jumping off into a lake with Eve. Bond's actions cause the Russian train to derail, and he confronts Ola Rapace's leader. Rapace admits their interest in the Skyfall file: the Chinese actually acquired it before the intelligence swap, and the Russians arranged the swap to try and get it back. Rapace admits that Skyfall is connected to a defunct Cold War agent, Matheus Salgueiro da Anunciação. The Russians are getting nervous about Salguerio.

Ya catches up with Bond, and they eventually agree to work together, sharing what they know. Bond recounts the events surrounding Neptune's murder and the implication of the Russians. Ya reveals that the Chinese government is looking to distribute aid in Africa, but they want to know who they are getting into business with first. For decades, foreign aid was paid by Western governments directly to African nations. A lot of it wound up in the private bank accounts of African leaders. The Chinese, however, do it very differently: they maintain control of the aid payments. If a hostpital is to be built in Africa, it is built with Chinese labour and Chinese building materials. When it is finished, it is staffed by Chinese nationals, and the burden of responsibility rests with China. The Africans get exactly what they need, when they need it; there is no wasted aid. The Chinese, however, are concerned about one of their new business partners. When they found a connection to the Russians, Ya was sent to gather their intelligence on him. His name is Matheus Salguerio da Anunciação, and he is a national hero in his native Angola.

Okay, Part 4:

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PRETORIA, SOUTH AFRICA -- Bond and Ya investigate Salguerio, and discover that he has spent the past ten years rebuilding his native Angola after a civil war that lasted for nearly three decades. His primary project is clearing minefields along its sourthern borders to build a highway so that trade with Botswana, Namibia and South Africa can start up again. While in South Africa, they discover Salguerio's plan:

In 1986, the young Matheus Salguerio approached the MI6 outpost in Pretoria. He wanted to reclaim his homeland after a decade of Soviet influence and civil war, but in order to do it, he needed the support of a Western power. The Station Chief at the time was Rene Mathis, who took the plan to one of the rising starts of the British intelligence community, M. Salguerio's plan was audacious, to say the least, but Mathis through it would have worked.

M, however, had other priorities. The Russian spy ring in London was at the eight of its powers, but both MI5 and MI6 were powerless to do anything. M, Frederick Grey and a few key members of both agencies and the Ministry of Defence met at Skyfall, Grey's property in Scotland. There, they conceived Operation Skyfall, an off-the-books operation to identify the spies. They decided to do this by leaking details of Salguerio's plan in such a way that the spy would expose themselves when they discovered it and reported it back to Moscow. The justification for this was that Angola was well and truly under the Soviet thrall, and the costs of restoring Angola far outweighed the beenfits. Salguerio's plan to end the war was instead used to expose the spy who went on to become Neptune. Rene Mathis was told to promise British support for Salguerio, but when the Soviets systematically targeted Salguerio's interests, he realised he had been betrayed. He promised Mathis that if he ever saw him again, Salguerio would kill him. Disgusted, Mathis asked to be reassigned; he ended up in South America, where he spent the next seven years.

Enraged at England, Salguerio aligned himself with the Russian forces. It took a lot of work, but he eventually became on of their agents in Southern Africa. When the war in Angola finally ended, he started using his contacts to rebuild his homeland, whilst searching for the people responsible for Operation Skyfall. When he finally found everyone involved, he arranged for his Chinese business partners to find his connection to the Russians, knowing that they would seek out any information they had on him - which Salguerio had already ensured would be all in the one place. He then alerted Neptune, knowing that MI6 would put two and two together to get five, believing that the Chinese knew about Neptune. This is why Salguerio does not consider what he is doing to be a fight, and thus why he does not want to "win" - he does not want to get away; he wants to get caught because he has engineered things in such a way that everyone involved in Operation Skyfall will be exposed.

Bond realises that M has been lying to him all along.

SKYFALL, SCOTLAND -- Bond lures Salguerio to Scotland, and the place where Operation Skyfall was conceived, on the basis that M and Grey (the last two survivors) will be present. Salguerio takes control of Skyfall before Bond leads an attacking force against it. The final fight sees Bond drowning Salguerio in a muddy, semi-frozen bog. The damage, however, has been done. Operation Skyfall is leaked to the public and the politicians, and most of MI6 is stood down. The final scene has Bond prowling the halls of a near-deserted MI6, on his way to meet the new M - Miles messervy.

A bit too much convoluted exposition there. Would this be dialogue or done through flashbacks? It's the kind of thing that goes in one of my ears and comes out the other.

I'm not really sure how it would be done, to be honest. I want Bond to be working things out as he goes, so I imagine the details of Operation Skyfall would be strategically broken up throughout the film. I also tend to write these things from Bond's perspective, so I imagine that there would be scenes where Salguerio is on his own, providing the audience with extra pieces of information.

The basic premise is this: Salguerio was double-crossed by M, and when M's plan did not work as expected (Neptune was unreliable), she buried it and forgot about it. Salguerio, however, remembered, and is now trying to get his own back. It is only happening now, twenty years after the fact, because that is how long it has taken him to find every.

The PTS could possibly be in linear, chronological order, with scenes in 1986 to set the ball in motion by showing Salguerio realising he has been double-crossed the the Soviets prevent his uprising. It would probably end with a cameo from Giancarlo Gianinni (or possibly his son) just to shock the audience into thinking that Mathis is a bad guy.

I just like the idea that one little word sets in motion the final chapter of a twenty-five year-old conspiracy. Maybe I could give it an overhaul.

Good work, Captain/Prisoner. It will be interesting to look back on this thread in November 2012 to see how it matches up with the finished product.

Next entry - a reimagining of LIVE AND LET DIE:

Dublin, Ireland -- The Eurozone debt crisis is starting to really bare its fangs. While Italy and Greece hold the world's attention, spiralling unemployment and the troubled economy have seen a kind of renaissance in Ireland. Disaffected youth are reviving the idea of the Irish Republican Army, guided by hardliners that have been quiet for the last few years, but have remained true to the cause. Acting on intelligence that the new IRA are gathering strength, MI6 seek to prevent an unstable situation from deteriorating any further. During a raid on an IRA stronghold, Bond finds several antique gold coins that attract MI6's attention. They have come from a treasure buried by Sir Henry Morgan in the 17th Century, and MI6 believe that this is how the IRA are trying to fund their operations, holding gold in reserve to safeguard against the perilous state of the Euro. Further investigations reveal that these coins have steadily been put on the market in closed auctions. M sends Bond to find out more.

São Paulo, Brazil -- Bond travels to Brazil and uses a cover identity to attend the auction. His plan is to find the seller, and cut off the supply to Ireland. Bond notices that many of the coins are being purchased by a man named Ariel Carpenter. Suspecting that Carpenter is a middleman for the Irish, Bond follows him - only to walk into the middle of a sting operation. Bond's life is saved by Felix Leiter, who is present at the sting. Felix reveals that Carpenter is a DEA agent, and the auction is a part of an ongoing operation. Felix and the DEA are targeting Buonapart Ignace Gallia, alias Mr. Big, because of his involvement with the Mexican drug cartels. Big has been selling gold coins at auction to fund the cartels, particularly with paying off Mexican officials. The DEA has become aware of the plan, and has positioned themselves as the buyers of these coins. Using equipment seized in a raid, the DEA have been producing "superpesos", high-quality forgeries of high-denomination pesos. The plan is to bankrupt the cartels. There's just one small problem: it's not working. The cartels have a second source of income.

Los Angeles, USA -- In California, a new Scientology-like religion is gaining popularity with Hollywood starlets. The leader of this little cult wants to expand to an international scale, but his operations are disjointed. The cult relies on powerful drugs to brainwash its members, but their supply comes from two local yokels who have so far managed to avoid capture out of sheer stupidity. They supply drugs as needed, but cannot cope with the volume that would be needed for an expanded operation. The cult has done a deal with a cartel to supply the needed drugs in exchange for a cut of the income once the cult expands. Bond travels to Los Angeles when he finds a connection through Mr. Big, who arranged the deal. Posing as a talent and PR manager for troubled actors, Bond manages to infiltrate the cult. Bond plants evidence suggesting that the cult leader is doing a deal with a gang of Vietnamese snakeheads, and then leaks it to the Mexicans. The Mexicans over-react and take down the cult.

Guadaljara, Mexico -- While the Mexicans are distracted by the cult, Bond and Felix carry out an operation in Mexico, exposing the "superpesos" as forgeries. In one fell swoop, the DEA is able to pick up the corrupt Mexican officials and leave the cartels in the lurch with millions of dollars in useless currency. Big, however, escapes. He decides to return to the Irish with the rest of the antique coins, hidden in a fish tank containing exotic and poisonous fish. Bond gives chase and plants a limpet mine (pilfered from a cartel stronghold) on Big's yacht. It explodes, killing the IRA members on-board. Big is injured, but survives. He falls into the water, where he is devoured by a school of barracuda.

Too many countries. Try and pair it down to 3.

Ireland would only be the PTS. The bulk of the film would take place in Brazil, America and Mexico.

And I don't subscribe to the theory that less locations equals a better-quality film.

No, but it allows more time for the travelogue stuff. Soaking up local culture with a detached cool. That along with getting lots of tail, fine gourmet,and occasional killing is my idea of Bond.

Well, I disagree. I think the travelogue elements are not necessary. They just needlessly slow the story down.

They slow the film down (which is often a good thing - a film needs to breath) - but necessarily so.

Digression aside, I really dig the Hollywood starlet/Scientology plot. It would be an interesting, ablate controversial route for Bond to take.

MULHOLLAND BOND.

I'm quite proud of it, too. I've been looking to use it for a while now. Ever since I saw fan reactions to Bond visiting Dubai in CARTE BLANCHE, I've loved the idea of Bond visiting a place that he just shows utter disdain for. Hollywood seemed like an appropriate choice for that, exploring the dark side of celebrity. I've also wanted to pit Bond against a cult for a while now. It was a bit of a eureka moment when I managed to tie them together. I have this scene in mind where Bond, as a "talent manager", visits a noir-themed party at Griffith Observatory (everyone would be dressed like a larger version of my avatar - http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110907171925/castletv/images/thumb/c/cc/CastleSeason4.jpg/659px-CastleSeason4.jpg - which would look awesome) to work his way into the cult. In fact, I imagine most of the story would take place in LA. I originally wanted the cult leader to be the Big Bad, but I felt it diminished Mr. Big's position.

Perhaps the most controversial idea (among fans, at least), would be one of the support characters - a troubled actor who "hasn't been in a film for three years, but can't stay out of the tabloids for more than three days". Such a character would probably be played by a Kim Kardashian or a Lindsay Lohan, which I think would be necessary to sell the idea, but controversial among fans. Though Bond would not sleep with her.

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Though Bond would not sleep with her.

Maybe he does, but by doing so he effectively signs her death warrant. She's killed by the big bad and her death made to look like a celebrity overdose.

Dan's Dick of Death: Part III.

Nah, I'd rather have her stumble through the film, completely oblivious to what is going on around her (and probably beliving that she is the protagonist).

What do you think of the noir-themed party? There's always calls for a period piece; I figured this would be a way to do it without breaking continuity.

It's alright. But you want it to look like a genuine noir party, and not just a trenchcoat convention (to quote the best line in THE FUGITIVE).

But still, I really like the idea of a celebrity overdose being staged. Bond gets on to it, kind of like De Palma's BLOW OUT. Bond doesn't even have to meet the actress, let alone sleep with her. You could also throw in a thinly veiled caricature of Harvey Weinstein - a slimy Hollywood producer who happens to be behind nearly all of the Oscar nominees. Kill 'm.

Well, maybe I could expand it out. Drop Mr. Big and the subplot involving the Irish - I felt it was a little too close to Le Chiffre - and instead focus on a sinister popular religion. The trick is in finding a way to get Bond involved in the first place.

I'm also trying to think of the kind of feel I want for it. Right now, I'm leaning towards a combination of Maroon 5's Moves Like Jagger, Jay-Z's 99 Problems and The Doors' Riders on the Storm - a kind of upbeat veneer that doesn't hold up to closer examination, instead showing a turgid and filthy underworld, but people only choose to see the shiny parts and not deal with the seedy side of things.

Alright, here's the refined idea, using a Scientology-like cult and Hollywood. Yes, I'm well aware that "Movementarians" appeared in an episode of "The Simpsons" (The Joy of Sect), but I don't have a good name for them at this point in now, so they will be referred to as Movementarians in this write-up.

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Clocaenog, Wales -- MI6 is alerted to a senior Ministry of Defence official who has become the target of what they believe to be a foreign spy. In reality, these "spies" are really agents of Movementarianism, a fledgling-but-controversial religion. Bond has been sent to Clocaenog, which in the finest tradition of Welsh names sound like it is completely made up. The Movementarians have a facility in the Snowdonian forests of Wales - a place that is more like a high-security military installation than a health retreat. There, Bond discovers that there has been a suspicious death, and the Movementarians have tried to cover it up. They have used their connections to the Minstry of Defence to suppress the story. Concerned that he is unable to keep a lid on things, they have been stalking him and trying to intimidate him into keeping quiet. The official is stood down, but MI6 are concerned that he has compromised security, and Bond is sent to Los Angeles to find out just how extensive the leak is.

Los Angeles, California -- With Felix Leiter's help, Bond finds a way into Hollywood: film producer Valentin Zukovsky, working under the name "Val Hildebrand". Zukovsky is a Hollywood big-shot; fast cars, fast women, and his name is attached to dozens of major motion pictures. However, in reality, his studio churns out dozens of trashy remakes of trashy horror films, and he uses the profits to buy into more-serious films that he thinks will win (or at least be nominated for) Oscars. He's the kind of guy who stands with the winners on the stage at the Academy Awards in an ill-fitting tuxedo, and nobody can really explain why he is there. Zukovsky's extravagant lifestyle is funded by a series of bank loans on top of bank loans, and he is also a cocaine addict. Leiter and Bond take down his dealer, and then pick Zukovsky up. They threaten to release details of his personal finances to banks unless he co-operates. The next night, Bond attends a film noir-themed party at Griffith Observatory. He poses as "talent management" with Zukovsky, where he meets a bevvy of aspiring and troubled actors. His plan is to use them to connect with the Movementarians. With Zukovsky's help - a few fake referrals - Bond gains a "reputation" in Hollywood for being able to manage difficult and delicate tasks, and is privately hired by the Movemntarians to manage their public relations. This gives them unfettered access to the cult.

Bond finds that the Movementarians have done a deal with a Mexican drug cartel to supply them with drugs in exchange for a cut of the profits when Movementarianism becomes a global enterprise. He uses this information to shut the cartel supply lines down, pushing the Movementarians into a corner. In their desparation, they decide to sell information supplied by the Ministry of Defence official: an MI6 case roster. Part of joining the cult is sharing everything one knows with them, and the Minstry official gave up the case files. Most of these are inactive - the official deliberately gave them old closed cases figuring it was safer - but the entire roster could compromise dozens of agents, sources and investigations. The case roster is to be sold on the open market.

Bond ultimately prevents the sale of the roster, and the film ends with a car chase along the Mulholland Highway. The villain somehow survives going over a cliff, but he is killed when the cliff collapses in a landslide.

Have you ever THE DAY OF THE LOCUST Shadow? I'd like to see a Bond with that kind of surreal vibe.

I've never heard of it at all, actually.

It's where Matt Groening got the name Homer Simpson from, played by Donald Sutherland no less.



One of my favourite films of the 70s. Great score by John Barry too.

I need to see DAY OF THE LOCUST.