Empire's new Bond cover

AMC Hornet wrote:

Instead of inspiring complaints about DC's appearance compared to the images of the previous actors at the bottom of the cover, the editors at EMPIRE should have used different pictures of the other fellas.

DC is 44, making his third appearance as 007. All those other pictures are from each actor's first or second appearance. Not a fair comparison. Use one of Sean from either DAF or NSNA, Rog from AVTAK, Pierce from DAD, and suddenly DC doesn't look so bad.

His hair may be short, but at least it's his own.

Or better yet, stop hiring over-40, or near-40 actors, and go back to bringing in young guys like Sean and Laz, when it's time to re-cast. If they continue into their 40's, fine. I would have let Sean stick around till mid-fifties, but when its time to re-cast, please go young again.

And also, just in case Eon has forgotten. Bond need be tall and lean. Tall equals over 6'. Sean was 6'2 btw, and that was 50 years ago. Happy to help. Carry on mini-hulking. Until the next casting call.

tiffanywint wrote:

And also, just in case Eon has forgotten. Bond need be tall and lean. Tall equals over 6'. Sean was 6'2 btw, and that was 50 years ago. Happy to help. Carry on mini-hulking. Until the next casting call.

Your comment reminds me of this little number (entitled, "The Incredible Shrinking Bond"), published in a tabloid back in 1992. . .

right idea, wrong pussy wrote:

tiffanywint wrote:

And also, just in case Eon has forgotten. Bond need be tall and lean. Tall equals over 6'. Sean was 6'2 btw, and that was 50 years ago. Happy to help. Carry on mini-hulking. Until the next casting call.

Your comment reminds me of this little number (entitled, "The Incredible Shrinking Bond"), published in a tabloid back in 1992. . .

methinks Roger would be taller if he stood straighter...

:)

Hilly wrote:

right idea, wrong pussy wrote:

tiffanywint wrote:

And also, just in case Eon has forgotten. Bond need be tall and lean. Tall equals over 6'. Sean was 6'2 btw, and that was 50 years ago. Happy to help. Carry on mini-hulking. Until the next casting call.

Your comment reminds me of this little number (entitled, "The Incredible Shrinking Bond"), published in a tabloid back in 1992. . .

methinks Roger would be taller if he stood straighter...

:)

Well, this was published in a tabloid, after all, and I'm pretty sure they got Sean and Tim's heights wrong. Also, this graphic is a great example of how to lie with a graph. Just make it so that the graph doesn't run from 0-7 feet so that you can overaccentuate the differences in heights. Then make the shorter people looks like midgets, so that prospective Bond Mel Gibson [shudder] looks more like a marionette than a man.

But it still gives me a laugh when I look at it.

This place is starting to sound like DCINB.....

...I'll be ejecting myself if it keeps going that way.... :(

Mrs Aural Sects wrote:

This place is starting to sound like DCINB.....

...I'll be ejecting myself if it keeps going that way.... :(

I imagine that's because of the mod-nazis at CbN ejecting anyone with the temerity to criticize Craig's performance as Bond. We have nowhere to go but here or DCINB. Also, QOS and the long lag-time after its release probably hasn't made people more enamored of Craig. If SF is a success (hell, if EON actually releases some real details about SF other than Craig running around in tightpants) then many people here will calm down.

That said, the thought of losing your well-formed ass made me look up the DCINB forums, and they are A LOT nastier to Craig there. I think the solution for you is to post positive things about Craig. What I love about these forums is the freedom they give us. Tiffanywint, Gravity and others (myself included) can bash Craig, and other people like Harmsway and Prisoner Monkeys can defend Craig. So exercise your freedom! :cheers:

But I think a fair amount of the Craig bashing around here (not in my case, but in many cases) has to do with frustration. People want to see details (real details) of the next Bond film, and the bad taste many people have yet from QOS have them fearing the worst from SF.

There's another, more accurate height chart, but damned if I can remember how to host it or link to it.

Anyway, you've probably all seen it: 6'1"-6'2" all of them.

And 5'11" does not a dwarf make.

Mrs Aural Sects wrote:

This place is starting to sound like DCINB.....

...I'll be ejecting myself if it keeps going that way.... :(

You can't leave Doggie, not with the sexy avatars you keep displaying..... :twisted:

With regards Craig on the Empire cover, I said all along his hair was too short. This was clear when the very first pics were released.
But without riding on the negative vibe that's often residing here, I'm excited to see Craig as Bond on the front of Empire in anticipation of a new movie.

As long as Mendes delivers, I can overlook Craig's skinhead cut.

right idea, wrong pussy wrote:

tiffanywint wrote:

And also, just in case Eon has forgotten. Bond need be tall and lean. Tall equals over 6'. Sean was 6'2 btw, and that was 50 years ago. Happy to help. Carry on mini-hulking. Until the next casting call.

Your comment reminds me of this little number (entitled, "The Incredible Shrinking Bond"), published in a tabloid back in 1992. . .

This graphic was quite helpful if it dissuaded Eon from hiring Mel Gibson. What a mistake that would have been. Sean I believe was 6'2. Laz was 6'2. This is the right bond height IMO. Moore was tall enough as well and had the Bond look. Dalton struck me as just barely tall enough. He didn't quite rate the general descriptor of Bond, as tall and lean. Broz had the right height and look, but nothing else. I would have kicked him out of auditions. Bond has to bring the menace too. Craig wouldn't have even got in the door. He would have been barred along with Gibson.

I do afford Craig full respect as a Bond-like character and Henry Cavill as the Bond that should have been.

Interesting, so now Dalton is 6'2. I just checked. Imdb lists him at that height as well. I guess it has to do with how he carried himself. He didn't strike me as terribly athletic whereas both Sean and Laz were naturally athletic. Those two moved like cats, so you got a sense of their stature as well. But they also had the advantage of being young. Neither Moore nor Broz were very athletic but they maintained a generally upright stance, so you did get a sense of their height. Dalts height never quite came across the same way, but as I said he looked tall enough. Height wasn't an issue

Craig on the other hand.....I can be nice....I might pick him over Gibson...although Mad Max did have the general look, even if he was a shrimp. hmm. Tough call.


I really do like this graphic. 5 proper height, proper Bond-look actors, all lined up in a row, although Broz still looks like a male-model metrosexual poser.

I wonder how Craig would accurately look in that graphic compared to the other actors, assuming his height is 5`10, or even 5`11.

Is there a similar chart with cock sizes? 'Cause Craig does reportedly have a "monster."

CJB wrote:

Is there a similar chart with cock sizes? 'Cause Craig does reportedly have a "monster."

You noticed.

The White Tuxedo wrote:

CJB wrote:

Is there a similar chart with cock sizes? 'Cause Craig does reportedly have a "monster."

You noticed.

Ms Brocollli obviously has, or at least wishes she had. Her school-girly lust over DC is cringingly embarrassing.

And propably explains a lot of why DC got the role in the first place.

But beauty is, as they say, in the eye of the beholder.

Mrs Aural Sects wrote:

This place is starting to sound like DCINB.....

...I'll be ejecting myself if it keeps going that way.... :(

Don't derange your lovely bottom over the Craig-haters, Doggie. I've got a few problems with him--his willingness to shill for Babs' and Dench's pet causes by donning a dress tops the list--but on the whole think he's done a good job as Bond. And I support his continuing in the role.

right idea, wrong pussy wrote:

Mrs Aural Sects wrote:

This place is starting to sound like DCINB.....

...I'll be ejecting myself if it keeps going that way.... :(

I imagine that's because of the mod-nazis at CbN ejecting anyone with the temerity to criticize Craig's performance as Bond. We have nowhere to go but here or DCINB. Also, QOS and the long lag-time after its release probably hasn't made people more enamored of Craig. If SF is a success (hell, if EON actually releases some real details about SF other than Craig running around in tightpants) then many people here will calm down.

That said, the thought of losing your well-formed ass made me look up the DCINB forums, and they are A LOT nastier to Craig there. I think the solution for you is to post positive things about Craig. What I love about these forums is the freedom they give us. Tiffanywint, Gravity and others (myself included) can bash Craig, and other people like Harmsway and Prisoner Monkeys can defend Craig. So exercise your freedom! :cheers:

But I think a fair amount of the Craig bashing around here (not in my case, but in many cases) has to do with frustration. People want to see details (real details) of the next Bond film, and the bad taste many people have yet from QOS have them fearing the worst from SF.

Not everybody wants to know what's going to be in SF. That's why we label certain topic spoilers, wpuss.

The White Tuxedo wrote:

CJB wrote:

Is there a similar chart with cock sizes? 'Cause Craig does reportedly have a "monster."

You noticed.

Lady Dench apparently did. Said he was hung like the Loch Ness Monster or some such.

Perilagu Khan wrote:

The White Tuxedo wrote:

CJB wrote:

Is there a similar chart with cock sizes? 'Cause Craig does reportedly have a "monster."

You noticed.

Lady Dench apparently did. Said he was hung like the Loch Ness Monster or some such.

And Nessie's said to be mythical.

Perilagu Khan wrote:

...but on the whole think he's done a good job as Bond. And I support his continuing in the role.

Khan, I fear you've been transfixed by "lovely bottom." Men are such pushovers.

Lovely bottom. Fact.

Craig is anti-Bond. Also fact. :study:

tiffy, if Micolli were to replace Craig, are you confident they would find somebody better? Or mightn't they come up with somebody much, much more inappropriate and worse? I fear Babs far more than I fear Craig.

Perilagu Khan wrote:

tiffy, if Micolli were to replace Craig, are you confident they would find somebody better? Or mightn't they come up with somebody much, much more inappropriate and worse? I fear Babs far more than I fear Craig.

Yes Babs is far more fearsome, but I do feel she couldn't do much worse. It's a conundrum.

Perilagu Khan wrote:

tiffy, if Micolli were to replace Craig, are you confident they would find somebody better? Or mightn't they come up with somebody much, much more inappropriate and worse? I fear Babs far more than I fear Craig.

For this very reason I've often wished that Bond would enter the public domain, so that we could have alternate adaptations of Bond, as we do currently with Sherlock Holmes. Then I thought was what most of those Holmes films/TV shows look like, and I cringe. I'm not at all a fan of Babs, but other people might even be worse producers.

By the same token, I am not a big fan of Craig as Bond, but I'm not sure if he counts as "anti-Bond". Certainly we could do worse (much worse). Here's some suggestions to make Craig seem more appealing (even to me):


Zac Efron as Bond


Robert Pattinson as Bond

Both interestingly, look more like Fleming's Bond than Craig. Then again, I look like the spitting image of Hoagy Chamichael if I tilt my head just so. I wouldn't make a good Bond, and neither would the two douchebags I just referenced.

I'll take the two douchebags above please. Just rough them up a bit. A few bench presses, but not too much. Fix their hair and we are good to go. We got through Broz. They couldn't be much worse. Pattinson can throw a punch. Check out Water for Elephants.

tiffanywint wrote:

Perilagu Khan wrote:

tiffy, if Micolli were to replace Craig, are you confident they would find somebody better? Or mightn't they come up with somebody much, much more inappropriate and worse? I fear Babs far more than I fear Craig.

Yes Babs is far more fearsome, but I do feel she couldn't do much worse. It's a conundrum.

I think the older Babs get, the more desperate she'll become, and as a result her leading men will get even younger. Babs is in the cougar phase of her life right now; I could easily imagine her telling one of her houseboys to call Craig's agent and tell the agent Craig has been fired. Then she'll tell the houseboy to call Purvis and Wade with instructions to the make the next Bond movie an origin story, and to write the piece with an 18-24 year old lead male in mind.

Purvis: "But...but we don't have any ideas. How are we supposed to start production immediately without any script ideas?"

Babs: "That's never stopped you before. Just go to the theater and see THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN. Copy down what you see, change some characters around, and repackage the story as Bond's discovery of his destiny to be a secret agent. And Purvis?"

Purvis: "Yes, M'lady?"

Babs: "Make sure to put the theater tickets on Michael's credit account."


Even that I could live with.

But I suspect...I strongly suspect......I very, very strongly suspect to the core of bones, that when Craig's era is finished (2016), Babs is going to move on to a big black guy to play James Bond. After having turned Felix and Moneypenny black, we'll now get a black Bond.

After Black Bond's era is over (2024), Bi-Sexual Bond's era will begin, (which will take us up to 2034)