Defining Masculinity

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Duplicate thread. You started that one as well.

https://bondandbeyond.forumotion.com/t2607-what-makes-a-man

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Watching Top Gear apparently.

I personally believe that the supposed "masculinity crisis" has been quite overstated. In spite of all the columnists/commentators who are throwing their toys out of the pram, the vast majority of positions of power are still held by men, primarily middle-aged white men. Speaking specifically about Britain, just over 20% of MPs are women. So reality is a long way removed from the idea that the male experience is not the defining one in our culture.

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Not sure there is anything particularly feminist about a post that points out the limited number of women in positions of power. In a society where masculinity is supposedly threatened, that surely would not be the case.

It might just be a case of this generation of men being a more whiny bunch than their forefathers.

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You will have to explain to me how the fact that the highest positions of power in both the political and business realm are still largely occupied by men is not relevant to a discussion about the supposed crisis that masculinity finds itself in. If the people who call the shots are still primarily men, then how can their gender find itself in any real danger of losing its power or status? And if that is indeed the case, would it not largely be a self-inflicted wound then?

Erica Ambler wrote:

I suppose that depends on what you define as whining. Suicide is now the single biggest cause of death in men aged 20-49 in England and Wales, with males accounting for 78 per cent of all suicides in the UK. To put that into context, female suicide rates have halved since 1981.

My point was more that perhaps men of the past thrived because they spent less time complaining about their lot and more time trying to improve it?

At least on a cosmetic level growing a big bushy beard or having excess "designer stubble" seems to be the current fashion for young men to show their masculinity. That and covering one's body in large and colourful tattoos.

Salomé wrote:

My point was more that perhaps men of the past thrived because they spent less time complaining about their lot and more time trying to improve it?

I think there might be something to this.

I don't want to speak for Ambler, but I don't think it's a questioning male status in the world, but more the emasculation of society. Correct me if I'm way off.

You can blame the feminists, you can blame poems but I'm not sure the act of defining masculinity is masculine…

There is no universal definition of 'masculinity.' One woman's masculine can be another woman's neanderthal.

An alpha-male can tell me his definition and I can tell him to go fuck himself simply because I find some of his attributes to be gross.

Here's a solid definition of masculinity:

Staugust wrote:

At least on a cosmetic level growing a big bushy beard or having excess "designer stubble" seems to be the current fashion for young men to show their masculinity. That and covering one's body in large and colourful tattoos.

A lot of women don't like designer stubble on a man's face and chin, especially if they have sensitive inner thighs.

bitchcraft wrote:

Staugust wrote:

At least on a cosmetic level growing a big bushy beard or having excess "designer stubble" seems to be the current fashion for young men to show their masculinity. That and covering one's body in large and colourful tattoos.

A lot of women don't like designer stubble on a man's face and chin, especially if they have sensitive inner thighs.

You are my hero, Dog Bond.

bitchcraft wrote:

Staugust wrote:

At least on a cosmetic level growing a big bushy beard or having excess "designer stubble" seems to be the current fashion for young men to show their masculinity. That and covering one's body in large and colourful tattoos.

A lot of women don't like designer stubble on a man's face and chin, especially if they have sensitive inner thighs.

Well I'm glad to hear it as I shave every day.

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Erica Ambler wrote:

Staugust wrote:

Well I'm glad to hear it as I shave every day.

So does Dog.

A match made in heaven!

Stubble is entirely subjective where sexiness is concerned. Some guys just rock it, some don't. I can appreciate a scruffy face even when I have no intention to ever let it anywhere near me. Some girls don't like it as a rule, some are more openminded on certain days. A friend of mine has a real beard fetish, but she's the only one I know who will exclusively go for that. Stubble or beards don't define masculinity to me, I tend to notice behaviour and character over superficial details.

Now, I hope I don't destroy too many illusions when I confess here that most guys who consider themselves alpha males more often than not come over as ludicrous, pathetic even. To me a guy is sexy when he doesn't act, when he's just authentic, doesn't force his overblown ego on others (that's a real turn-off). Impressed with self comes to mind there; guys can score big points when they don't take themselves or their convictions too seriously. We're all human, there's no need to pretend one has superior knowledge or experience or whatever. A definite turn-on is when a guy can admit not knowing something, or having made a mistake. When a guy is not ashamed to admit his faults along with his strong sides, that's what takes balls, that's a man in my eyes.

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So are you saying that men are all liars at heart, Ambler? Or only when interacting with women?

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Erica Ambler wrote:

Salomé wrote:

So are you saying that men are all liars at heart, Ambler? Or only when interacting with women?

Not at heart, but in fact. And yes,  especially with women. It's the damn biological imperative - you know, like when you used to stick socks in your training bra, Oppers.  

Never had any need to do that, they were already there before I was even ready for their arrival!