What if James Bond had to intervene in a political anti-terrorism scenario requiring him to become a master infiltrator with great thief-like cat-burglar skills? Would this alter our perception of the dashing courage of James Bond himself?
Here's a short fan-fiction exploring that question.
Thanks for reading (and enjoy!),====
M: I need you to intercede in North America.
BOND: For whom?
M: The Irish Republican Army seeks to invade the Salk.
BOND: Salk...why?
M: There're blood diamonds there linked to a new laser weapon, James.
BOND: Well, who says diamonds aren't a terrorist's best friend?
M: They might become just that, James.
BOND: Well, I suppose I shall have to put my thievery skills to the test.
M: Indeed...good luck, Bond.
So, James Bond was headed to North America on behalf of both Interpol and British intelligence and had some MI6 consultants working alongside him intercepting some new age Front-IRA terrorists who sought to steal the precious Antwerp diamonds being securely stored at the Salk on the West Coast. These blood diamonds were wrought from the hellfire of South Africa and were going to be used for careful light-laser refraction research, which is precisely why this rogue faction of the IRA sought to grab the prismatic gems to construct their own haphazard rendition of the laser-weapon for use against Her Majesty's government. James Bond realized he'd not only have to infiltrate this rogue IRA group lurking in North America, but he'd also have to proverbially beat them to the punch if he wanted to take the lab blood diamonds securely to place into the hands of British intelligence.
SHELBYE: You're a dashing smuggler, James.
BOND: Well, I've defected from British civil service.
SHELBYE: Why should I trust you're an 'Irishman' I seek?
BOND: You're a gorgeous redhead and need not worry about violence, love.
SHELBYE: Don't be smug, James; we need those Salk blood diamonds.
BOND: If I end up a thief and beat your Irish friends to the punch, steal away with me!
SHELBYE: Suddenly, I get the goosebumps that you're precisely such a traitor.
BOND: I'm quite loyal in the bedroom.
SHELBYE: Hmm...sounds promising.
James Bond had fallen in love with the IRA finance consultant Shelbye Collins, but he had to keep his head straight to intercede on behalf of British intelligence and prevent these rogue terrorists from corrupting the blood diamond extraction and ensuing lab work for military weaponry investments for their own ends, ends ironically condemned by Sinn Fein, Parliament, and the standard IRA currently negotiating rather surprisingly nicely with Her Majesty's government. However, James Bond couldn't get Shelbye's green eyes out of his heart, and he wondered if he managed to successfully steal those Salk blood diamonds before the IRA rogues did if he'd be able to step up his social charm to steal her heart as well.
When James and his new IRA buddies, linked to him through his controversial newfound romance with Shelbye Collins, crawled through the Salk roof and into the vault using grappling hooks and glass-cracking laser-pens late at night, evading the patrolling walking security men, he instantly knocked out the four accompanying Irishmen and then proceeded to use a hidden laser-pen in his shoe to rift open the safe-box carrying the blood diamonds from Antwerp in the glass laboratory. He then climbed through the ventilation duct literally like a ABCD and dove out the rear of the building and into the Pacific Ocean. James then took a small boat to meet Shelbye Collins.
BOND: I have the diamonds, Shelbye.
SHELBYE: You don't have me, James.
BOND: Go with me, my sweetheart.
SHELBYE: I'm Irish...you're English.
BOND: I know that now.
SHELBYE: So do I, Bond.
BOND: Farewell, then.
SHELBYE: You're the thief of my crystal!
BOND: We'll find each other.
SHELBYE: I'll be a super-terrorist then, darling.
BOND: Maybe...
====
"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)
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