Rolling Stone readers poll

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/photos/readers-poll-the-10-worst-songs-of-the-1980s-20111006

I can't believe some of the songs on this list. In fact, some of them were big hits, so I have trouble undestanding how they're now considered "the worst". I mean, there's nothing even slightly off-key or wrong with THE LADY IN RED. What's not to like about it? It's a love song, but it's a great tune and the singing is pitch-perfect.

I agree with at least one selection, though: WHAM's "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go". Hated it and them then, and still hate it/them now. And if anybody had any confusion about which way George Michael's bat swung back in 1984, they only had to watch this video and his "jazz hands" to figure it out (2:29 and 2:44 mark):


The video is campier than a pack of Boy Scouts at a 4-H Club.

Still, I'll say this about 80's videos and groups: there was certainly more glamour and people weren't afraid to look good and slick and dress up. You don't see that as much anymore. I still get goosebumps looking at a lot of the Bond Girls from the 80's and the background Bond Girls; there was glamour and sophistication; they weren't dressed down or without make-up like Wai Lin, or wearing combat boots and a tank tops like Christmas Jones. Kind of miss some of that style from back then.

I like that Europe song...and a good number of these 'worst' selections were #1s and #2s. My top 10 picks would be much different, things like Ghostbusters, Batdance and Wild, Wild West come to mind.

Mrs Aural Sects wrote:

I like that Europe song...and a good number of these 'worst' selections were #1s and #2s. My top 10 picks would be much different, things like Ghostbusters, Batdance and Wild, Wild West come to mind.

I like The Final Countdown as well. I don't even think the "worst" song of the bunch, We Built This City, is a bad song (definitely a bad video).

I think some of the videos may be pushing the poll results and voters were being unduly biased by watching the video instead of concentrating on the music. Obviously the videos in the early 80's aren't going to compare favorably to today. Separate Ways by Journey is an example of a horrible video (cheesier than a Papa John's pizza), but a great song. Of the Ten "Worst", I'd say probably Bobby McFerrin's song and the one by Wham deserve to be on it.

I can think of WORSE songs than these. When it comes to people compiling the worst songs of all time, they're always going to be songs that were hits at their time because that's all everyone would remember. Who would really recall what the worst song of the 80s was? I'm sure it's somewhere hidden in a dusty storage compartment on a cassette tape long forgotten.

Here are my choices for the worst of the 80s. They were hits, again what else is there to choose?



David Johansen during his Buster Poindexter years takes calypso and rapes it with no mercy. Fucking atrocious. And what the hell is Bill Murray doing in this travesty anyway? Embarrassing.



She deserves to be in those Z-grade TV movies.



If John Lennon wasn't assassinated he would have shot himself after listening to this. Talent is clearly not a genetic trait. If not convinced, check out Sean Lennon, had John survived his first suicide attempt he likely would have used a semiautomatic to turn his head into a fountain after listening to his second son's "efforts".



Hair metal at its worst. Okay, maybe not. But the video always makes me laugh because they keep singing about wanting a woman but then the video cuts to a bunch of 15 year old groupies. Still, Ratt blows.



Another shit cover, this time by Natalie Cole taking on "Pink Cadillac".



Fuck this song.



Okay, this is the worst. Without a doubt. "We Built this City" and that WHAM! song are stupid, but at least they're cheesy bad. Olivia Newton John's song makes me want to slit my wrists.

Makeshift Python wrote:

I can think of WORSE songs than these. When it comes to people compiling the worst songs of all time, they're always going to be songs that were hits at their time because that's all everyone would remember. Who would really recall what the worst song of the 80s was? I'm sure it's somewhere hidden in a dusty storage compartment on a cassette tape long forgotten.

Here are my choices for the worst of the 80s. They were hits, again what else is there to choose?



Fuck this song.

Definitely agree with you about that one. I have always hated Break My Stride.

Can't quite agree with you about Physical. And "Hot, Hot, Hot" and "Electric Youth" are too light-weight to be considered bad by me. I would add:



"Please Don't Go Girl" (also by New Knobs On The Block) is a fairly bad song as well; however, what saves it from being on my list, as opposed to "Hangin' Tough", is that the song does show some actual talent by singer Joey McIntyre. "Hangin' Tough" was just a bad song in every way a song could be bad: a pedantic tune bereft of any real melody, and sung by a group of apple-cheeked tweens who didn't have a pube to share among themselves trying to act ghetto-tough.

I'd also add Culture Club's Karma Chameleon. Something about Boy George and this song just makes me want to slit my wrists open every time.

I'd replace "Karma Chameleon" with this.



This plays at a store I work at. DRIVES ME INSANE.

"Puttin' on the Ritz" is oddly interesting.

These would have been on my list:

Makeshift Python wrote:

Okay, this is the worst. Without a doubt. "We Built this City" and that WHAM! song are stupid, but at least they're cheesy bad. Olivia Newton John's song makes me want to slit my wrists.

"Physical" was awesomely redeemed by Goldfrapp:

Gravity's Silhouette wrote:

Still, I'll say this about 80's videos and groups: there was certainly more glamour and people weren't afraid to look good and slick and dress up. You don't see that as much anymore. I still get goosebumps looking at a lot of the Bond Girls from the 80's and the background Bond Girls; there was glamour and sophistication; they weren't dressed down or without make-up like Wai Lin, or wearing combat boots and a tank tops like Christmas Jones. Kind of miss some of that style from back then.

Agreed. There was an incredible sense of showmanship around '80s music. A sense of glamour and sophistication (hello Duran Duran), many extremely imaginative and iconic promo videos, and, of course, many great songs. I've never heard of Men Without Hats or Taco, but I know all the other songs on that list and I wonder why most of them are on it.

Many of them are in fact classics - classics of their kind, anyway. I know that "serious" music fans are supposed to sit around listening to the likes of The Beach Boys, Led Zeppelin and Miles Davis, but if a song like "Never Gonna Give You Up" were truly bad I doubt that it would have been listened to and loved by millions and still mentioned in internet posts in 2011. Not saying that everything Rick Astley ever did was pure genius (far from it), but credit where it's due - a good song is a good song. Another example is Kylie Minogue's "I Should Be So Lucky" - everyone claims to hate it, it's regularly cited as one of the most annoying songs ever, yet it's also undeniably a super-catchy pop song that does what it says on the tin.

Any ten Stock Aitken & Waterman tracks would probably make up my ten worst songs of the 80s, as their arrival pretty much ruined that decade in pop for me. There was some pretty awesome stuff around between 80 and 85 until those plebs came along and stuck the same tinny fucking kiddiebeat under everything they put out, with awful fashion trends emerging to coincide with them such as the fucking shellsuit and centrepart haircuts. And the bastards promoted miming when everyone else fucking hated it. The first half of the 80s was one of the best times of my life, but the second half is down there with the worst, no rose-tinted glasses whatsoever for some of the shit the mid-to-late 80s dumped on us, even if it was part of my childhood. Shit is shit.

Wham were fucking awful though, so if I could only think of five SA&W tracks, the other five would be any five Wham tracks probably.

Loomis wrote:

I know that "serious" music fans are supposed to sit around listening to the likes of The Beach Boys, Led Zeppelin and Miles Davis, but if a song like "Never Gonna Give You Up" were truly bad I doubt that it would have been listened to and loved by millions and still mentioned in internet posts in 2011.

Agreed. But then again, if a song is able to stick around in the collective mind of pop culture 22 years onward, of course it's going to come off cheesy. Given enough time everything looks awful in retrospect, but at the time people were living their lives these were considered good songs, good clothes, good hair styles.

I actually quite like the music of the eigthies were the tunes were sometimes surprisingly mindbogling, and less said about certain fashionstyles. But they were originals. And most of the songs shown her carry for me memories of places and people.
I think folks who did not actively lived with the music from the eighties have perhaps another view. For me it is the times I was a teenager and the music was an active part of it. Even if I disliked some of the music then most of them carry memories. Mostly good ones and some of the bad ones are well worth remembering.

Worst songs of the 80s? And no Joe Dolce???

Tsk, tsk, tsk...

I thought the reporter's comments were amusing. And quite fair in places. Some of these songs didn't deserve all this hate.

Wham certainly did though. But Karma Chameleon I hated at the time, and the years have not made it any more tolerable. And no Kajagoogoo?

'Imself hates The Final Countdown. Very occasionally, I get set up to sing it at karaoke just to annoy him

Laz is spot on about Stock Aitken & Waterman. The worst kind of airheaded bubble gum pop.

No Milli Vanilli?

Loomis wrote:

Agreed. There was an incredible sense of showmanship around '80s music. A sense of glamour and sophistication (hello Duran Duran), many extremely imaginative and iconic promo videos, and, of course, many great songs. I've never heard of Men Without Hats or Taco, but I know all the other songs on that list and I wonder why most of them are on it.
Many of them are in fact classics - classics of their kind, anyway. I know that "serious" music fans are supposed to sit around listening to the likes of The Beach Boys, Led Zeppelin and Miles Davis, but if a song like "Never Gonna Give You Up" were truly bad I doubt that it would have been listened to and loved by millions and still mentioned in internet posts in 2011. Not saying that everything Rick Ghastley ever did was pure genius (far from it), but credit where it's due - a good song is a good song. Another example is Kylie Minogue's "I Should Be So Lucky" - everyone claims to hate it, it's regularly cited as one of the most annoying songs ever, yet it's also undeniably a super-catchy pop song that does what it says on the tin.

I always thought "serious" music fans sat around listening to classical?
whenever a form of music starts taking itself "seriously" it's usually dies not long afterwards (when Jazz went from "Hot" to "Cool" it soon lost touch with the masses as did Rock when it became "Heavy")

strangely I have changed my mind about some songs, finding them so weird and archetypal that I now include them in 80s flavoured compilations that I make for my own enjoyment
I still find myself detesting SAW, with it's excessive use of repetition and mind numbing beat
while items like "Men Without Hats" and "Kajagoogoo" have become essential New Romantic listening for me

Lazenby. wrote:

Any ten Stock Aitken & Waterman tracks would probably make up my ten worst songs of the 80s, as their arrival pretty much ruined that decade in pop for me. There was some pretty awesome stuff around between 80 and 85 until those plebs came along and stuck the same tinny fucking kiddiebeat under everything they put out, with awful fashion trends emerging to coincide with them such as the fucking shellsuit and centrepart haircuts. And the bastards promoted miming when everyone else fucking hated it. The first half of the 80s was one of the best times of my life, but the second half is down there with the worst, no rose-tinted glasses whatsoever for some of the shit the mid-to-late 80s dumped on us, even if it was part of my childhood. Shit is shit.
Wham were fucking awful though, so if I could only think of five SA&W tracks, the other five would be any five Wham tracks probably.

Ravenstone wrote:

Worst songs of the 80s? And no Joe Dolce???
Tsk, tsk, tsk...
I thought the reporter's comments were amusing. And quite fair in places. Some of these songs didn't deserve all this hate.
Wham certainly did though. But Karma Chameleon I hated at the time, and the years have not made it any more tolerable. And no Kajagoogoo?

unlike SAW, I can forgive Wham, because they wrote two old school 60s soul classics, "I'm Your Man" and "Freedom"
and I can't help but like the feisty message of "Wham Rap"
"Wham, bam, I am, a man, job or no job, you can't tell me that I'm not"
"Do, you, enjoy what you do, if not, just stop, don't stay there and rot!"
forget about the Clash, take that Thatcher!

(IMO Joe Dolce's was a novelty comedy song, which really falls outside of this discussion, like including "Ernie the fastest Milkman in the West" or "The Streak" in an assessment of 70s music)

Ravenstone wrote:

'Imself hates The Final Countdown. Very occasionally, I get set up to sing it at karaoke just to annoy him

the definitive 80s pop Hair Metal anthem
so bad it's good?

Seve wrote:

Ravenstone wrote:

Worst songs of the 80s? And no Joe Dolce???
Tsk, tsk, tsk...
I thought the reporter's comments were amusing. And quite fair in places. Some of these songs didn't deserve all this hate.
Wham certainly did though. But Karma Chameleon I hated at the time, and the years have not made it any more tolerable. And no Kajagoogoo?

unlike SAW, I can forgive Wham, because they wrote two old school 60s soul classics, "I'm Your Man" and "Freedom"
and I can't help but like the feisty message of "Wham Rap"
"Wham, bam, I am, a man, job or no job, you can't tell me that I'm not"
"Do, you, enjoy what you do, if not, just stop, don't stay there and rot!"
forget about the Clash, take that Thatcher!

What's that got to do with Thatcher?

Sharky wrote:

Seve wrote:

Ravenstone wrote:

Worst songs of the 80s? And no Joe Dolce???
Tsk, tsk, tsk...
I thought the reporter's comments were amusing. And quite fair in places. Some of these songs didn't deserve all this hate.
Wham certainly did though. But Karma Chameleon I hated at the time, and the years have not made it any more tolerable. And no Kajagoogoo?

unlike SAW, I can forgive Wham, because they wrote two old school 60s soul classics, "I'm Your Man" and "Freedom"
and I can't help but like the feisty message of "Wham Rap"
"Wham, bam, I am, a man, job or no job, you can't tell me that I'm not"
"Do, you, enjoy what you do, if not, just stop, don't stay there and rot!"
forget about the Clash, take that Thatcher!

What's that got to do with Thatcher?

my understanding of British history ("The Young Ones" and "Boys From The Blackstuff") leads me to understand that those of the left tended to blame Thatcher for all the unemployment and misery in blighty in the early 80s

am I mistaken?
:scratch:

Seve wrote:

am I mistaken?
:scratch:

That Thatcher was to blame? Or that she gets blamed for it?

Right on both counts ;)

Ravenstone wrote:

Seve wrote:

am I mistaken?
:scratch:

That Thatcher was to blame? Or that she gets blamed for it?

Right on both counts ;)

Only half-right on the first. Thatcher axed already crumbling and antiquated industries, that Wilson and Heath's admonitions had neglected. The terrible thing is though, she didn't have anything to replace them, or least not in her 11 years. That's where the communities were torn apart.

Say what you want about Olivia Newton John's Physical but girls would go nuts for this song in clubs. They would practically fly out of their seats and on to the dance floor. It was like a stampede.

Pour Some Suger on Me; that's one of the all-time great rock 'n roll cheese anthems. Love it!

Not a George Michael fan, but if Queen ever wants to do a big reunion tour, Michael should be the lead vocal. He captures Freddie better than anyone I've heard; certainly a lot better than Paul Rogers, who wasn't really even close IMO.

tiffanywint wrote:

certainly a lot better than Paul Rogers, who wasn't really even close IMO.

Seconded. I was bloody furious when I heard that travesty. I don't like George Michael, but he didn't do a bad job of Somebody to Love. Mind you, I can't see him managing the others quite so well. It was more a lucky selection, I reckon.

I loved how Robert Plant, backstage at the Tribute concert, said that no-one was singing the songs in the original key, because no-one could.

I can't believe I am the one and only didn't make this list. That made me cringe with sheer embarrassment whenever I heard it, even at the time.

Ravenstone wrote:

tiffanywint wrote:

certainly a lot better than Paul Rogers, who wasn't really even close IMO.

Seconded. I was bloody furious when I heard that travesty. I don't like George Michael, but he didn't do a bad job of Somebody to Love. Mind you, I can't see him managing the others quite so well. It was more a lucky selection, I reckon.

I loved how Robert Plant, backstage at the Tribute concert, said that no-one was singing the songs in the original key, because no-one could.

I can't believe I am the one and only didn't make this list. That made me cringe with sheer embarrassment whenever I heard it, even at the time.

I'd managed to forget that one, thanks for reminding me... aaaaarrrrrrgh!
:x

when they had that Freddie tribute concert way back when, I though the lead singer from Extreme did the best job of impersonating Freddie

I would love to see a proper Queen re-union tour, assuming John Deacon would come out of retirment, which is a big if. I saw them 3 times when I was a kid, in their prime (side-stage for one show, up close and personal and boy were they a good live band). Even though Freddie's gone, watching the other 3 work again live would be a great experience. They were one heavy band when they got pumped and Freddie, despite being the flamboyant one could rock-out too, especially on songs like Tie Your Mother Down and the heavy/fast part of Bohemian Rhapsody. I think singers like Paul Rogers are a mistake. You need someone with a great voice, but also with Freddie's flamboyant style. George Michael seems to fit the bill 8) . What would work is Michael doing a Freddie tribute and other three just being classic heavy-Queen awesome.

Seve wrote:

I'd managed to forget that one, thanks for reminding me... aaaaarrrrrrgh!
:x

Yeah. Sorry about that

I don't know what would get Deacy out of retirement, but it's not Paul blood Rogers. I love Queen - my all-time favourite band. I really did worship them. But this Paul Rogers crap pisses me right off. Brian May and Roger Taylor went waaaaay down in my estimation. Okay, they can't be doing it for the money, so they must be doing it for love. But dear God, if you love the music - why Paul Rogers????

tiffanywint wrote:

I They were one heavy band when they got pumped and Freddie, despite being the flamboyant one could rock-out too, especially on songs like Tie Your Mother Down and the heavy/fast part of Bohemian Rhapsody. I think singers like Paul Rogers are a mistake. You need someone with a great voice, but also with Freddie's flamboyant style. George Michael seems to fit the bill 8) . What would work is Michael doing a Freddie tribute and other three just being classic heavy-Queen awesome.

Tie Your Mother Down, Sheer Heart Attack, Stone Cold Crazy, Death On Two Legs...

the guy from the Darkness is a great showman, perhaps that's more important than trying to copy Freddies singing style

or make a bundle by selling out and having an American Idol style "Freddie" audition series, with the prize being a place on the reunion tour (INXS tried that a few years ago, tragic...)
:affraid: