Your Ultimate Bond Film

Similar threads floating about, I'm sure, but this might be a bit of fun. From the official James Bond Facebook page. Klebb will always be the main villain from FRWL, though. Note the PC term for Bond girl, lol.



Hard to narrow this all down but I might do:

Bond: Connery
Villain: Elektra King
Henchman: General Orlov
Bond Girl: Natalya Simonova
Car: DB5

or

Bond: Brosnan
Villain: Savalas' Blofeld
Henchman: Irma Bunt
Bond girl: Tracy Bond
Car: '69 DBS

Hmm, no Tracy, no anything...right me old cobbers. Brace yourselves.

Bond: Dalton
Villain: Goldfinger
Henchman: Mayday
Bond woman: Octopussy
Car: Aston Martin V8 1987 Vantage Volante

shake it up for my secondaries

Bond: Lazenby
Villain: Zorin
Henchman: Bunt
Bond girl: Tracy
Car: the 1971 Mustang

yep.

Very good. Dalton facing off Mayday... There's an idea!

Zorin and Bunt, just as exciting a duo as their original, respective film partners. Wonder if Bunt would teach Zorin kickboxing... Or if Zorin would still be happiest in the saddle with old Irma.

Ha, I think even Zorin might stop short with Irma. I think Zorin would teach her kickboxing. Be an interesting dynamic. He was born from Nazi experiments and she might well have been involved in it.

The bed scene with May Day, I can picture Dalton's wide eyes as she wrestles atop him.

Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang wrote:

Note the PC term for Bond girl, lol.

I always felt calling grown adult women "girls" was kind of weird (aside from Bibi Dahl). After all, men wouldn't appreciate being referred to as "boys".

That said, I think I prefer the term "Bond Ladies", sound classier and fitting than "Bond Women"


Anyway, my ultimate Bond film strictly based off that meme? Okay...

Bond: Connery
Villian: Silva
Henchwoman: Mayday
Bond lady: Vesper Lynd
Car: Aston Martin 1987 Vantage

No secondaries. Everyone else is a loser.

If I go strictly off that meme:

Bond: Connery
Villain: Elektra
Henchman: May Day
Girl: Wai Lin
Car: DB5

Bond Ladies is classier than 'Women' but still prefer Girls. I don't mind being referred to as a 'boy' if used as a term of endearment, which is how the title of Bond Girl is applied.

MP does have a point on the girl/woman issue. Other week I said without thinking, via a message, to a friend: "I hope you girls are okay..." (referring to her partner)...

Well, few messages later, my lesson is learnt.

I think we're all being a little too sensitive, honestly.

It's just a dated term now, and I understand why hasn't been commonly used past the 20th century. It sounds condescending. If it doesn't make our females friends comfortable, no harm in just dropping the term altogether.

This got me looking into when exactly Bond stopped using the term "girl". It was TLD, only it was sort of a transitional film where Bond alternates between using "girl" and "woman". Starting with LTK, Bond drops using "girl" altogether.

"I'll do anything for a woman with a knife"
"I like a woman that enjoys pulling rank."
"Never argue with a woman. They're always right."

From that point on the only characters that use "girl" are villains, used both condescending and possessive.

"Hey, no fooling around with my girl."
"You better watch yourself, girlie."
"Lovely girl. Tastes like strawberries."

It's not until CR that it slips back up in Bond's lines, and it's during a moment of impulse.

"Get the girl out."

Bond uses it in TWINE: "Lose the girls Valentin. We need to talk."

And in GE IIRC: "The girl, Onatopp..." in the situation room. Could make a case for 'The next girl' but it's more in response to Caroline's line.

Good call on TWINE, however in GE he does say “the woman, Onatopp”.

Superfilm ideas

Bond: Connery
Villain: Zorin
Henchman: Baron Samedi
Girl: Tracy
Car: DB5

Bond: Moore
Villain: Largo
Henchman: Grant
Girl: Fiona
Car: Lotus

Bond: Dalton
Villain: Blofeld
Henchman: Grant
Girl: Tracy
Car: Bentley

Bond: Brosnan
Villain: Scaramanga
Henchman: Jaws
Girl: Pam
Car: Vantage

Bond: Lazenby
Villain: Drax
Henchman: Oddjob
Girl: Pussy
Car: Hornet

Interesting ideas. I just wonder about how a film would be where Bond and Tracy are up against Baron Samedi.

And Moore's Bond would probably get killed by Grant, let's be honest!

Moore's Bond would've recommended a better wine to go with the fish and perhaps a better tailor.

Admittedly I did that because I think Roger could have worked wonders with the Grant confrontation and is as always continually undervalued dramatically. Connery even does the signature Roger move in the train fight of grabbing onto a higher perch and using the momentum to kick outwards.

Comment raises an intriguing thought though, Boots, Moore vs Franks in the lift.