Named After Your Father Perhaps: Diamonds Are Forever at 50 (1971-2021)

Shows what I know, I was holding for the Sands. Circus Circus is our best option. I imagine Wayne Newton is still knocking about Vegas someplace.

As with many of the early Bonds I got my first viewing on Television. I remember one Christmas and ITV's big film was DAF while BBC1 had the Sound of Music. We had a family vote and thankfully Diamonds are Forever won.
   DAF is a guilty pleasure for me, I know it looks cheap in places, with a heavier Connery and small scale finale, but it also has a fantastic score from J Barry, one of the funniest scripts with so many quotable lines like " Named After Your Father Perhaps "
 Blofeld as played by Charles Gray is far too polite and jovial to be of any real menace , although Wint and Kidd are certainly creepy enough to be Spectre killers but I don't find Jill St John all that attractive as a Bond Lady.
   As many have speculated over the years what would DAF have looked like if Lazenby had have stayed on.

Certainly much less of an absurdist black comedy. There's a strong possibility that there'd have been no Moore era ... if a Lazenby DAF had been successful he'd likely have stayed on board throughout the 70s at least.

Quite agree Blunty. Lazenby said he signed initially for a 7 picture deal. Assuming a film every two years, that would've taken him to 1983.

Thunderpussy wrote:

As with many of the early Bonds I got my first viewing on Television. I remember one Christmas and ITV's big film was DAF while BBC1 had the Sound of Music. We had a family vote and thankfully Diamonds are Forever won.
   DAF is a guilty pleasure for me, I know it looks cheap in places, with a heavier Connery and small scale finale, but it also has a fantastic score from J Barry, one of the funniest scripts with so many quotable lines like " Named After Your Father Perhaps "
 Blofeld as played by Charles Gray is far too polite and jovial to be of any real menace , although Wint and Kidd are certainly creepy enough to be Spectre killers but I don't find Jill St John all that attractive as a Bond Lady.
   As many have speculated over the years what would DAF have looked like if Lazenby had have stayed on.

I first saw DAF on TV. It's my Dad's favourite. 1971 was the year he came a fan of John Barry via the Persuaders. Next to VTAK, this is my most watched Bond. I know the lines inside out. Certainly a guilty pleasure film too. The script...well, as you say it has great lines.

"I fear you've caught me with more than my hands up."

I think a DAF Lazenby would've been more LTK-like (minus the graphic violence) and subsequent films would be similar until 1977.

Blunt Instrument wrote:

Certainly much less of an absurdist black comedy. There's a strong possibility that there'd have been no Moore era ... if a Lazenby DAF had been successful he'd likely have stayed on board throughout the 70s at least.    

Interesting thought. Hard to imagine the series without Moore's tenure, despite flirting with the idea of a Lazenby-led 70s. What a period that would be, with a less than enthusiastic Lazenby and a failing dynamic between Cubby and Harry.

Ah, I was assuming a happy-to-be-in-hit-movies Lazenby and a still-good-buddies Broccoli and Saltzman in my scenario.

Ever the pessimist I am!

I'll concede that a Lazenby-led TMWTGG is one of the series' greatest what-ifs.

Certainly would've been quite potent in the martial arts pieces and wouldn't have been left behind at the school.

I figure afer FYEO40, we'll hit DAF50 even though DAF came out later. Largely as I'm uni bound.

So several shades lighter, bear with me.

Before we start: for those not familiar, as a child DAF became my most watched Bond as it was my dad's favourite. In the days before downloading, we either watched a Bond off the telly or had only a couple on video. When the essential collection or whatever it was (that only went to TWINE in the end, I believe) was coming out in dribs and drabs my parents only got a couple or so. These being DAF, VTAK and OHMSS> I strongly suspect the lattermost as I kicked off! Nonetheless we got them all bit by bit.

However, here we are.

Now, in an alternate world, DAF was Lazenby's return to form. Bond spends the film taking revenge on Blofeld. Turning DAF the film into YOLT the novel.

However, here we are and so chaps I ask your patience as I do my stream of consciousness thingy.

So, here we go.

We cut to what must be Japan. "I shan't ask you again."

I wonder if not seeing Connery in the PTS until Maria is purposeful. Making us think it's Lazenby's Bond or at least the same Bond who got married.

"Yesh, matter of fact there is..."

In the PTS alone this Bond wouldn't last a second today. Strangling a bird with her bikini top?

There we are, Charles Gray as Blofeld. Great actor but as Blofeld...Well, we'll see. We have the Bruce Forsyth stuntman.

Roundabout...turn...lava...well, never mind.

You're sat there in the cinema. You're young enough to shout: "Wait! What happened to the Aussie!?"

Who can listen to the great Dame Shirley without hearing JB's words saying the only way to do this song was treating it like a man's penis?

Dear M reminds Bond of his job with 007 looking bored witless. Lazenby's Bond might only have shown off his knowledge about butterflies but Connery's does what he did best, showing up M to some point. Though dear Naismith seems unimpressed. Indeed, I wonder if he took a break from filming Persuaders to do this?

DAF though based upon the novel veers across Fleming's "Diamond Smugglers" territory.

The benign bizarre that PK so wonderfully coined kicks into gear now. As always I wonder what Fleming would've made of the films that came out post-death. Imagine him sat in the cinema now watching DAF.

It is hard not to like Wint and Kidd, largely down to Glover. We're now veering away from the novel.

Early on we're entreated to some great lines and so we nod, early on, to Mank. Wait a tick the bad guys holding hands? Surely in 1971 this caused a touch of whatever?

I've not seen Glover in much beyond DAF, one thing I remember him in is BSG78 but DAF is the benchmark and the flashback intercrossed with M and Bond in the office works quite well.

I've been to Dover once, shithole. Long after the hovercraft packed up. What does that matter Hilly? I'm just saying. Dover looks better here than in 2013.

The Dover scene is great largely for how Barry's music builds up and the theme kicks in for the hovercraft departure.

That tour guide bit is chuckle worthy. Madam is going about her job as she has for ages and there's a dead body being retreived.

Amsterdam looks good on film, shame Holland only appeared here.

Now, to me, Fleming's women were always strong women. Independent types and Tiff initially fits that bill.

Connery does the innocent rather well ("I tend to notice things like that") and well, say what you will but JSJ was a bit of alright in the day. Love her little Q lab though.

Were it not for Barry, this film might feel laggy and slow but he knows the right notes to hit.

I dig redheads nowadays but Tiff was the second to fire up that particular fixation. It's hard, if you will, not to feel something towards her with her little ensemble as she emerges as a redhead.

Cor, it's the DBS!

The whole fake snogging is excellent. So juvenile but does the job.

I assume Tiff was not entirely believing of Bond if she so willingly accepts Franks into the building.

The lift scene is excellent. For one it's in a confined space but also how it starts. Bond elbowing the glass by accident, his look of shock which alerts Franks to the danger. I quite easily see Lazenby in this scene. Another change of clothes for JSJ, Tiff is like Batman in changing so often (JSJ was one of two people to die in the Adam West Batman by the bye).

The whole you've killed James Bond line is hilarious. I mean, surely Bond is still top secret even after his obit in YOLT?

Love the "for a lady" line chiefly for Glover's reaction.
Ah, the sleazy Airport Source. Like Bond's kind of stunned reaction to seeing Felix.

I've likely said it before but I like Connery's rapport with Burton. I don't know what he ever said about Burton but there's something about the rapport that works.

"Yesh, I believe I'll sit in front."

"Small world."

Here we have one of ITC's regulars, David Bauer. A chap who by 1971 was still voicing Anderson puppets. Had a great role in The Prisoner's Living in Harmony. Love how awkward it is for a second in the office, I didn't twig till now that Slumber once sat down just stares at Bond with that grin on his face.

I don't know about anyone else, but as a kid, the thought of being buried alive (or burned alive) was nerve inducing and it's made more so by Barry's music.

Ah, the Vegas still of the Rat Pack, of Rickles et al. Forget Shady we should've had Rickles.

A big deal was made of Craig wearing the white tux in Spectre but Connery rocked it pretty well here.

Got to like how Plenty appears at his elbow magically. Sure, she heard his bets but that was from a few feet away and next she's there.

"I'm afraid you've caught me with more than my hands up."

"If she gives your men the slip..." in a few words sums up the relationship between Bond and Felix. Way Connery delivers the line at least, whilst watching the act swim past.

JSJ does her bit well in this scene. The nonchalant spraying with the pistol, the reaction to the little shit...

Great Barry piece as the gang exit the building not able to see JSJ.

Indeed, by now JSJ looks quite alright.

Much as I like the Mustang, as it speeds away there's a fantastic white VW Beetle.

Here JSJ enters her own world. I love her lines ("forget it Curly, you blew it") and so on. JSJ did streetwise better than some. Could she have been paired with Lazenby? Well, I don't see why not but I see a Lazenby-Tiff being somewhat more sensitive to him as Kissy is in the YOLT novel after he's killed Blofeld.

Great camera work of Metz heading into the sticks with Barry's music.

Aha, the man himself, Ed Bishop. By now, 71, Bishop has established himself in the Anderson universe (Captain Scarlet, UFO) and is a regular ITC actor (appearing with Shane Rimmer in Bedford Incident where they coined Rent-a-Yank, both being Canadian!). Bishop briefly appears in YOLT of course.

Hey there's the bald bloke who lately flatly intones the countdown.

Bond is properly nosey of course in this scene.

Poor Klaus, turns up and everyone looks like they're going to kill him.

"What the Hell is this, amateur night!?"

I don't hold WW's security up to scratch. Pawing about after Bond as he quite easily steals the moon buggy. Flinging their cars about with no real control. Writing off cars...not really doing much otherwise.

Plus their cars seem quite flimsy. And yet the buggy holds up rather well.

Just noticed that around the 59m mark, you see the buggy get clear and a WW car smash itself to bits, turning over. As it turns over a wheel rolls about that is clearly belonging to the buggy making me think that as it vanishes off screen it came to grief. (The rear right wheel just as it goes off screen, looks like it was coming lose).

In spite of the silliness of it all, Barry's music masks it all rather well, right up untli Bond and Tiff's escape in the Mustang.

Forget JW Pepper, you have the sheriff here ("there goes that sonofbitchin saboteur!")

In some respects a pointless scene, at least it's just an excuse to show off Vegas albeit in what looks partly like a studio form and yet against what the film has been and will be, well enough. Right down to the huge crowds watching.

I'll quietly ignore the switcheroo car-wise.

DAF continues to go its course with Bond riding a lift in his tux and then the reappearance of Blofeld. We scoff at Gray but he did his bit. Well, here he does, he appears to relish the scene at any rate.

"Wrong pussy," words you won't hear nowadays without a snigger. Well, without the actor sniggering.

Thumbs up for Blofeld initially saying lift.

How different would this all be with Savalas' Blofeld? Vastly you imagine.

Ruddy hell, Bond is knocked out long enough for a while pipeline to be laid. Must be days if not several long hours.

Well, how can we not but love Bond's lines to the rat who clearly couldn't be arsed?

As Bond pretends to be Saxby Blofeld seems suitably wary. On one hand 'Bert' has preempted Blofeld into ditching WW but on the other hand, he's not entirely sure about 'Bert'.

The house layout of WW's pad reminds me always of Tracy Island's villa in Thunderbirds, not exactly but there's enough there.

One feels for Bond in this sequence. He first sees the girls and thinks, hello couple of bits of alright I can bend to my will...but within seconds he's being pummelled. Thumper personally always seems to camp it up a touch, not in a good way (that groaning and whatever she does as she prepares to kick Bond). Bambi though is the prototype Onatopp, at least she has thighs that well, could do a job.

Great shot of a vista and Barry's music going all intense as Bond is flung into the pool.

"Still haven't found out!"

I'm surprised as Bond gets out of the pool and runs down the steps that he doesn't tap Thumper on the head.

Well, whatever the case, WW...how can we not not like him? "I see you've met Bambi and Thumper!"

So here's Saxby. Clearly Blofeld didn't believe 'Bert' before and called Bert after.

The 'he's fired' line...every goddamn time seriously. It's Connery's reaction, it's the line itself after Saxby being shot...it's DAF in microcosm.

Hey, Mr Q! Q you ol' devil, you missed a trick here me old china.

And then we have Blofeld in drag. I guess it made sense at the time. Yet surely if Blofeld is pretending to be WW, him just walking out of the hotel wouldn't alert anyone to him. Everyone assumes WW is sealed tight up top, so Blofeld could just walk out.

Yes, yes, it's my man Shane Rimmer.

"Shove your honour!"

Another ITC regular, David Healy who again did a fair share of Anderson (Scarlet, Joe 90, UFO).

On that note of Anderson, we have some good Meddings visuals. By now he's perfected the work he's done since the early days of Anderson and it works still here.

Pretty sure Rimmer dubs the guy who greets WW when they come out of the lift.

"Ba-ha!?"

Can it be so simple?

So we head over to Blofeld Rig. I recall, yonks ago, when I did my Lazenbyised DAF, people being complimentary about my having Blofeld's base in the desert. Does it make that much of a difference? I suppose it does. On one hand the rig is a typical Bond villain lair (we've had a volcano, a mountain top retreat and even a yacht previously) and yet...and yet, god knows.

There we have JSJ in her bikini. Clearly since being nabbed by Blofeld she's been living the life of Riley. It's, er, hard, er, not to be distracted by this image. Whatever we might think of her as a Bond girl, JSJ was a vision of beauty in the day as she was a few years previously in Tony Rome.

The days when world armageddon hinged on a bloody cassette!

Stupidest guards. They realise Bond has stopped to do his lace a few feet on. I mean had they not turned they'd be the other side of the rig before realising 007 had stopped.

"You stupid twit...!"

God bless Tiff for trying to do her best but nowadays Bond would've used stronger language surely.

Now, let's be honest, the fact WW is flying a chopper in this mission somehow is quite cool. That or the CIA have shanghaied him with the threat of prison (again sounds like Rimmer is dubbing here. The way he says tar-get is a giveaway. Right out of TBirds).

Amidst an era of Adam sets, the oil rig does present a 'real' arena. Helicopters flying about, explosions etc.

"Such nice cheeks too, if only they were brains."

Tiff has the good fortune to have her bodyguard blown away by the CIA choppers. I imagine that sentence is laced with inneundo.

Love how the rig has bofor guns. Clearly missiles are a bit too much for Blofeld.

No film should be without the 007 theme. We get faintly Carry On with the whole lower not up but never mind.

The way the battle ends makes me think Blofeld is still in that bathosub even now.

"Both times I've schmelt a rat"

Love Wint's look of anguish after Kidd plummets.

And that concludes the Connery era. Remember, Sean, never say never, again.

DAF is a true gem. Perhaps the only Bond film I like more every time I watch it. I think, for me, it's now overtaken Goldfinger as my favourite non-Young film of the Connery collection.

I dare say I agree with you CJB. Compared to GF or YOLT there seems to be a lot more to it. A thousand quotable lines for instance. It feels blasphemous to go against GF but DAF always entertains. Sometimes I've tired of GF.

DAF is the great dark comedy of the Bond oeuvre. It's certainly got its weaknesses, but in terms of humor, visual aesthetics, scoring, and minor characters, it ranks up there with the very, very best.

I think I've probably watched DAF more than any other Bond film. Never tired of it. The Peter Franks fight and Bond scaling the Whyte House are all time series moments.

Wholeheartedly agree with all the above. Also must mention that DAF has the most entertainingly eclectic cast of characters, major and minor. Too many to mention, but everyone from Wint & Kidd to Shady Tree to the "... and counting" guy to the mobster with the brudder  etc. etc. are perfect.

It has a fantastically witty script. So many quotable lines.

CJB wrote:

Wholeheartedly agree with all the above. Also must mention that DAF has the most entertainingly eclectic cast of characters, major and minor. Too many to mention, but everyone from Wint & Kidd to Shady Tree to the "... and counting" guy to the mobster with the brudder  etc. etc. are perfect.

The carney barker: "Aren't you a little outta yer league, sister?"

The Zambora scientist: "Be very still, very quiet so we wouldn't disturb Zambora from her transcendental state!"

Morty Slumber, beaming with that soothing expression as he demonstrates the cremate-o-nator.

Klaus H, radiation shield extraordinaire.

That kid who was asked to blow up his pants.

The sheriff who was JW Pepper before JW Pepper existed.

Truly the best ensemble assembled in any Bond film.

"We've selected a private niche for your brother in our Garden of Remembrance. The one with the restful chartreuse curtains and Angel's Breath gold trim."

Verily, Mort Slumber is like a god to me.

Betcha that organ music starts up in your head as soon as you see that face...

Who wouldn't hear heavenly choirs of angels at the sight of that mug?

I tend to hear them later in the movie. When Plenty shows up.

I imagine Plenty could muffle the sound of any choir with ease...

Blunt Instrument wrote:

I tend to hear them later in the movie. When Plenty shows up.  

"Say! You handle those cubes like a monkey handles coconuts!"

Arguably the greatest line in the history of cinema. And I'm only just joking.

CJB wrote:

I imagine Plenty could muffle the sound of any choir with ease...

Stifled whilst sporting a stiffy.

CJB wrote:

Betcha that organ music starts up in your head as soon as you see that face...

I maintain that the regular staple of ITC actors were integral to early Bonds. That brigade of Rent-a-Yanks made a lot of the shows ITC churned out. As far as the late David Bauer (Morty) is concerned, his best non-Bond is facing McGoohan's Prisoner in Living in Harmony (a Western retelling of Prisoner's arrival in the Village).