Short fanfiction. Happy Saturday!
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Agent 008: Didn't think I anticipated a cold Omagh winter for blood-diamonds, darling?
SHELBYE: You whisked me away from Dr. Octagon, that gem-baron; I was a bad girl.
008: Not anymore...you've brought out the simple man from the masked snow-agent.
SHELBYE: Good for Omagh, Mr. Bond.
Well, James was assigned to this station in Omagh, Northern Ireland. He managed to intercept blood-diamond shipments being used by the evil Dr. Octagon in a world-schematic to make pirate axes a new language for UK commerce with smugglers exploitations linked with African shores (damn). However, James (008) also rescued Shelbye, his new sweetheart from the axes of Dr. Octagon, as she'd worked prior as his darling Omagh gem-store outfit sales-lady. All he needed now was to make the right contacts to evade some IRA-UVF skirmish linked with piracy paranoia in time for Xmas-consumerism (wow).
With the aid of his tech-toys manager and confidante, Q, 008 managed to break into Dr. Octagon's fortress in Northern Ireland and laser cut his computerized estate safe-vault and swapped his rumored blood-diamonds with glass animals (toys!) for mod-Earthling eco-consciousness weight message that'd draw even Martian envy. He knew Shelbye was a fan of eco-politics, and this was the right advocacy for the 'troubles' of world order concerning capitalism and gem-smugglers roadways, and James didn't want to be remembered as a bad diamond man. He wanted to retire with Shelbye to Brussels to become a cool junior-hockey league coach on the ice.
SHELBYE: Good plan for retirement, and you look the part of a pensive coach now.
JAMES: I've changed my name to Amlan Satan...there's a hockey-player of same surname.
SHELBYE: You're no devil, ha.
JAMES: Thanx...you said it, darling (Facebook-like).
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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)
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