Nuttiest Line in a Bond Film

It's gotta be Professor Joe in LTK: "We've got a special offer. You guys out there with your beer and your popcorn."

WTH? Never heard of anybody drinking beer and eating popcorn at the same time. Weird combo. And I have to think any guys doing so wouldn't be the type to watch a televangelist. Just a crazy line.

Perilagu Khan wrote:

It's gotta be Professor Joe in LTK: "We've got a special offer. You guys out there with your beer and your popcorn."

WTH? Never heard of anybody drinking beer and eating popcorn at the same time. Weird combo. And I have to think any guys doing so wouldn't be the type to watch a televangelist. Just a crazy line.

I don't find it weird. Beer and popcorn are staples at professional sports events.

Probably the nuttiest line for me is:
Natalya: "But I don't know anything"
Bond: "Then tell me what you do know".

"I'll buy you a delicatessen... in stainless steel!"

That came to mind first.

I've always liked this bizarre exchange, courtesy of Tom Mankiewicz:

Quote :

Bond: How will I recognize him?
Anders: Tall, slim and dark.
Bond: So's my aunt.
Anders: Yes, but how can I tell you? He's not like other men. [gestures toward her chest] He has three...
Bond: Fascinating anatomical tidbit. But probably the most useless piece of information I've ever heard. Unless, of course, the "Bottoms Up" is a strip club and Scaramanga is performing.

On second thought, Diamonds are Forever is absolutely in own category when it comes to goofy gems. Every page of its script probably has two or three.

"BAAA-JAAA??!! I don't have anything in BAAA-JAAA!"

Yo mama - Jinx.... :suspect:

Gravity's Silhouette wrote:

Perilagu Khan wrote:

It's gotta be Professor Joe in LTK: "We've got a special offer. You guys out there with your beer and your popcorn."

WTH? Never heard of anybody drinking beer and eating popcorn at the same time. Weird combo. And I have to think any guys doing so wouldn't be the type to watch a televangelist. Just a crazy line.

I don't find it weird. Beer and popcorn are staples at professional sports events.

Really. I've heard of beer and hot dogs, beer and hamburgers and beer and nachos, but never beer and popcorn together. And I've been to a TON of sporting events. And at any rate Professor Joe was a televangelist, not a host on ESPN's Sportscenter.

Perilagu Khan wrote:

Gravity's Silhouette wrote:

Perilagu Khan wrote:

It's gotta be Professor Joe in LTK: "We've got a special offer. You guys out there with your beer and your popcorn."

WTH? Never heard of anybody drinking beer and eating popcorn at the same time. Weird combo. And I have to think any guys doing so wouldn't be the type to watch a televangelist. Just a crazy line.

I don't find it weird. Beer and popcorn are staples at professional sports events.

Really. I've heard of beer and hot dogs, beer and hamburgers and beer and nachos, but never beer and popcorn together. And I've been to a TON of sporting events. And at any rate Professor Joe was a televangelist, not a host on ESPN's Sportscenter.

Well, I don't really think beer and popcorn probably goes well together; I just meant that they are sold at every stadium I've ever been to.

Sharky wrote:

Bond: Fascinating anatomical tidbit. But probably the most useless piece of information I've ever heard. Unless, of course, the "Bottoms Up" is a strip club and Scaramanga is performing.

Maybe I misunderstood that line. I always thought the line was :....anatomical titbit", not "tidbit".

"You handle those cubes like a monkey handles coconuts!"

Makeshift Python wrote:

"You handle those cubes like a monkey handles coconuts!"

One of my favorite lines in all of Bond. And Ms. Wood delivers it perfectly.

DAF is a goldmine of lines, here's my favorite of the scene.

Plenty: "Say, you've played this game before."
Bond: "Just once."

More to do with Connery's modest delivery.

"Drop the act!"

Or, in Brosnan English, "Jrop dee ack!"

"Nut?" - Bond to Scaramanga.



:bounce:

Edit: Damn.... :oops:

Wrong. That was Bond to Scaramanga.

"You can't just go around killing James Bond!"

Although in Tiffany's defence, she was a diamond smuggler. And the pipeline was connected to SPECTRE. So it's reasonable that she might have known about a man named James Bond. But the delivery of the line makes it sound like everyone knows who Bond is.

I think that's the joke. It's lampooning how Bond (nearly) always introduces himself with the catchphrase, letting everyone know who he is. I bet MR's double taking pigeon recognised him, and.then went into a seizure.

Tiffany telling a kid off: "Blow up your pants". Okay, I am not an American, but does that mean something?

"Royal beluga. North of the Caspian."

Who's he saying this to? Himself? WTF.

Yes, he is. It's just George Lazenby slowly turning James Bond into a pretentious git.

groucho070 wrote:

Tiffany telling a kid off: "Blow up your pants". Okay, I am not an American, but does that mean something?

Basically the same thing as saying "stuff it up yer arse."

Prisoner Monkeys wrote:

Yes, he is. It's just George Lazenby slowly turning James Bond into a pretentious git.

Er, James Bond was already that by the time of GOLDFINGER, and Bond lecturing M on the quality of his vintage..

Prisoner Monkeys wrote:

Yes, he is. It's just George Lazenby slowly turning James Bond into a pretentious git.

Because Laz wrote OHMSS' screenplay, lock, stock and barrel.

groucho070 wrote:

Tiffany telling a kid off: "Blow up your pants". Okay, I am not an American, but does that mean something?

I assume it means something like "piss your pants off", given they were blowing up balloons with water pistols. Never heard that phrase uttered outside the film, but on occasion I love to use it just to see the reaction.

From the same scene: "Well, I suppose that proves nobody is indestructible."

Chang wrote:

"Royal beluga. North of the Caspian."

Who's he saying this to? Himself? WTF.

And, what about "Backseat driver" in TND, "Bon Appetit" in YOLT and "She should have kept her mouth shut" in FRWL. Kerim had already walked off when Bond said it, so he was saying that to himself too.

And besides, at least what he's saying makes sense. As opposed to, of course, "Where's Kananga?" / "He always did have an inflated opinion of himself".

That's great, Bond, but where is he?