American politics and news thread 2.0

The world economy explained with two cows


SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.


COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows

The State takes both and gives you some milk.


FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.


BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.


TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.


VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.


A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.


A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.


A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.


AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You worship them.


A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both are mad.


AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.

You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.


AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.


A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows.

The one on the left looks very attractive.


A GREEK CORPORATION

You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.

You eat both of them.

The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.

The IMF loans you two cows.

You eat both of them.

The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.

You are out getting a haircut.


AN IRISH CORPORATION
You have two cows
One of them's a horse!

saint mark wrote:

The world economy explained with two cows

That post is extremely offensive to the different cultures and countries throughout the world.

Imagine how insensitive and racist and offensive it would be if someone said: "An AFRICAN CORPORATION....You have two cows, but they both show up late each day for their daily milking and are extremely lazy." Can you imagine the outcry and rage there would be?

Please consider deleting your post. Offensive posts of such nature have no place at BOND AND BEYOND. B&B is built upon diversity, tolerance, and acceptance of each other's differences.

Amusing post, though odd to post it on this thread.

But where else can Saint Marxism copy 'n' paste it?

Guess we need a random stuff thread for things that don't quite fit a subject but don't warrant its own thread.

Largo's Shark wrote:

But where else can Saint Marxism copy 'n' paste it?

How about CBn? Let them traffic in such pendatric filth. B&B is a progressive community of enlightened Bond fans. We make no such judgements about other countries. Quite frankly, I was sickened and disturbed to see one of our European Brothers of Tolerance and Diversity and Acceptance be so quick to make fun of and humiliate other cultures and countries; if that kind of ignorant commentary had come from France, none of us would be surprised (because they are so intolerant of all those millions of peace loving Muslims that routinely riot and burn down their own communities, set fires to cars, and kill cops) But Saint Mark, like Python and Jack Wade, are flaming liberals. How could one of their own engage in such offensive talk? It's like cannibalism (no offense meant to people who eat other people)

At B&B we embrace everyone, and I for one am not amused by the xenophobic nature of that post. I'm considering putting Saint Mark on suspension until he writes a 5,000 word essay on why xenophobia has no place in a civilized society and then posts it into one of the forums. Does anyone agree?

P.S. My groin is on fire, Largo. I'm afraid if I scratch it it will get infected. I may have case of the Herpes. What to do?

I don't identify myself as a liberal.

I am not a liberal either, nor have I ever voted liberal.

Then again European and US liberalism are two different beasties.

Nothing pisses off a socialist more than being called a liberal.

I remember finding it amusing when the head of the republicans in the US made a speech about how he was "very disappointed" when Obama's speech after being sworn in was "utterly liberal". What else was he expecting?

Gravity's Silhouette wrote:

Imagine how insensitive and racist and offensive it would be if someone said: "An AFRICAN CORPORATION....You have two cows, but they both show up late each day for their daily milking and are extremely lazy." Can you imagine the outcry and rage there would be?

And they call me the Racist one here....

:lol!:

Cows are actually very lazy animals and very dumb.

You ever been cow tipping?

From reading some of the comments in here, it goes back to the argument....

Python wrote:

I don't identify myself as a liberal.

You're only a flaming liberal if you disagree with GS' bullshit.

Is it worth destroying the forum for this thread? I'm sure any new member sees this repetitive bullshit and f ucks right off.

I reckon keeping these Fox News wars in one thread is better than having this section flooded with threads everytime a Republicrat or a Dempublican does something whine-worthy.

Throw this thread into the Shark Pool.

I am liking this thread!

To each to his own. :*h*:

Moved it to the pool. Best to leave all the bullshit behind and start clean.

Sir Ambler's back. Let's revive Baker Street.

Isn't that why we're all here, after all?