Worst Performance By An Actress In A Leading Role

I know there are lots of threads with "best of" and "worst of" lists, etc...but these polls that I'm going to be posting are not just generic, run-of-the-mill polls, but ask you to really, really assess the talent of the people in the categories listed. These posts, like the Oscars or The Razzies, are meant to get an idea of who is the most and least talented, not who you like the most. For example, I love Famke Janssen's performance in Goldeneye. It was fun and exciting, but speaking purely on the merits of talent I cannot say that it was a flawless performance. So please vote for the specific performance/talent involved, or lack thereof, and not simply who you just happen to like or personally dislike.

These polls will not be broken down and based upon type of role (i.e Bond Girl, villain, henchman, etc...) but strictly on talent

Polls close in 45 days. Ceremony announcing the winners and losers to take place in the Commander's Dining Room of the Denny's of your choice.

"James! Don't leave me! James!"

When I saw AVTAK in the theatre, other guys in the audience were giving voice to my thought:

"James, for God's sake leave her, James!"

Thanks to Tanya Roberts, however, I had a much easier time believing Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist. Stacey Sutton a geologist? Well, she certainly had rocks in her head...

I don't understand why Barbara Bach is in this poll. Nobody complained about her in '77. Sure she turned into a dishrag by the end of the film. So did Jill St. John, and she's not in the poll (I"m glad to see).

Same fer Akiko. I would also enjoy very much her serving under me.

Although Talisa Soto lacked one thing (talent), I preferred her to Teri Hatcher, and I think she should have played Lupe Carver. Then, when she asks Bond if she got "too close for comfort" we'd know that he was lying when he said "yes." If we were supposed to think that he was being candid with Paris, it just doesn't work.

BTW, why isn't Grace Jones in this poll? Are you afraid of her? (I know I am.)

I believed Roberts as a geologist, just an annoying one (not too much). To repeat what I said back at CBn, you could see that she was actually thinking when delivering exposition, unlike Richards, who was boring, unconvincing, and less charismatic. Easily the worst of the five.

Bach was really good; the competition between her and Bond remains a highlight of The Spy Who Loved Me. Akiko (not Akiki) and Talisa were OK; not too interesting, but not unconvincing either.

mattjoes wrote:

I believed Roberts as a geologist, just an annoying one (not too much). To repeat what I said back at CBn, you could see that she was actually thinking when delivering exposition, unlike Richards, who was boring, unconvincing, and less charismatic. Easily the worst of the five.

Well said. It's nowhere near the stretch of the imagination to buy Roberts as a rookie geologist as it is to buy Richards as a f***ing nuclear scientist. And yeah, Roberts does actually look like she's putting some thought into her delivery. So she cries for help a lot? Guess what, she's about to fall into a pit of fire or get kidnapped/killed by a psychotic biological experiment f***ing maniac. Any everyday girl would do exactly the same thing in Roberts' shoes, so I can buy it.

Lazenby. wrote:

mattjoes wrote:

I believed Roberts as a geologist, just an annoying one (not too much). To repeat what I said back at CBn, you could see that she was actually thinking when delivering exposition, unlike Richards, who was boring, unconvincing, and less charismatic. Easily the worst of the five.

Well said. It's nowhere near the stretch of the imagination to buy Roberts as a rookie geologist as it is to buy Richards as a f***ing nuclear scientist. And yeah, Roberts does actually look like she's putting some thought into her delivery. So she cries for help a lot? Guess what, she's about to fall into a pit of fire or get kidnapped/killed by a psychotic biological experiment f***ing maniac. Any everyday girl would do exactly the same thing in Roberts' shoes, so I can buy it.

Precisely my thoughts on Roberts, which is why I rank her just outside my top 10.

I voted for Soto. But, if Halle Berry, Gloria Hendry or Carey Lowell were there, they'd get my vote.

mattjoes wrote:

I believed Roberts as a geologist, just an annoying one (not too much). To repeat what I said back at CBn, you could see that she was actually thinking when delivering exposition

I have to disagree with you, I could tell when she talked about how the dynamite would cause an earthquake and flooding, she had no idea what she was talking about, she was just saying the lines.

it is a tough toss up between Roberts and Richards, but I'm going to have to go with Richards.

I voted Akiko Wakabayashi, but only because Gemma Arterton wasn't available. What a talentless tart.

Barbara Bach: Model HJ 64000.

Does Barbara Bach dream of electric sheep?

What is it with Barbaras?

I will make the case for Tanya Roberts at some point, just not right now (too many others to catch up on).

Grace Jones' performance wasn't bad enough or good enough to warrant a ranking in either good or bad categories. And I've never understood the problems people had with Rosie Carver. She's a bimbo. So? I can't find a shred of bad acting in Hendry's performance. She's playing the role as written.

You ask : Why Barbara Bach? It was close, believe me. The other candidate would have been Carole Bouquet. Bach exhibited zero emotions or feelings until the very last scene, and her Russian accent was flawed beyond belief.

The Jap girl but no Halle Berry? I can't figure that one.

Ed Tom Kowalsky wrote:

The Jap girl but no Halle Berry? I can't figure that one.

You can honestly say that Halle Berry's performance was awful the whole way through? There was not a single moment or two where Berry did a good job?

The "Jap" girl was awful from start to finish. I tried giving her a break because Engrish is not her first first language, but still......And, by the way, "Jap" is a bit outdated. They prefer to be referred to as "Orientals" as in "Oriental vase" or "Oriental rug".

I can give Bach's acting a break because Spy wasn't a serious movie. It was jokey, comic, and pun laden. Robo-Bach just added to the cheese.

TWINE, however, was all realz and seriousness. Even if Richards and Bach where on the same level, Richards hurt her movie so much more.

I can honestly say that Berry was desperately abysmal, far worse than the Jap girl. And that's all that matters.

Richards. Denise Richards. Easily. Tanya Roberts is low on my list but if you think about it, she was supposed to playing a California state employee. Hence, brilliance is not to be expected.

Prince Kamal Khan wrote:

Tanya Roberts is low on my list but if you think about it, she was supposed to playing a California state employee. Hence, brilliance is not to be expected.

Truer words were never written!

Prince Kamal Khan wrote:

Richards. Denise Richards. Easily. Tanya Roberts is low on my list but if you think about it, she was supposed to playing a California state employee. Hence, brilliance is not to be expected.

I'll say this for Richards: her introductory scene with Brosnan is very good. One of the best. What happened after that I have no idea. I don't know why it went so badly for her. It's not like the material was that challenging. But, let's face it, she was hired on the strength of her performance in WILD THINGS, and by "performance" I mean her tits (which, unfortunately, weren't shown off to much effect in TWINE).

Conversely, I can't point to one good scene in AVTAK where Roberts shows even the slightest bit of talent. Her delivery in everything is wooden. She can't properly convey worry: "Seawater? That's incredibly dangerous", she can't properly convey danger: "If it happened at the peak of spring tide for maximum effect..."....I mean, in everything she's given she manages to run average lines into a sub-standard performance. It CANNOT be that hard. Bond films aren't going to win people Oscar nominations, but they don't challenge a person that much either. All that is required is a modicum of credibility and just to get out of the way and not screw up. Roberts could never do that.

Denise Richards isn't remotely plausible as a nuclear physicist for even a nanosecond. Nuclear physicists, one presumes, are rather intelligent. Look into Richards' vacant eyes and you know bloody well the pan is on the stove but nothing is cooking.

Gravity's Silhouette wrote:

Ed Tom Kowalsky wrote:

The Jap girl but no Halle Berry? I can't figure that one.

And, by the way, "Jap" is a bit outdated. They prefer to be referred to as "Orientals" as in "Oriental vase" or "Oriental rug".

And here I go, after you again, Grav my friend...

Call their vases and rugs what you will, but Asian people do not like being called 'oriental.' That's almost as bad as calling a Korean Chinese, then saying "whatever."

Just so's you knows...

Ed Tom Kowalsky wrote:

Look into Richards' vacant eyes and you know bloody well the pan is on the stove but nothing is cooking.

I must confess, I wasn't looking at Richard's eyes.

Put my vote down for Ms Richards. A tad more unbearable than the others. Part always roots for Tanya though.

AMC Hornet wrote:

Gravity's Silhouette wrote:

Ed Tom Kowalsky wrote:

The Jap girl but no Halle Berry? I can't figure that one.

And, by the way, "Jap" is a bit outdated. They prefer to be referred to as "Orientals" as in "Oriental vase" or "Oriental rug".

And here I go, after you again, Grav my friend...

Call their vases and rugs what you will, but Asian people do not like being called 'oriental.' That's almost as bad as calling a Korean Chinese, then saying "whatever."

Just so's you knows...

Come on, Hornet. Don't you know me by now?

It was a joke. I intentionally "corrected" Ed's use of the "Jap" stereotype by using another equally "offensive" stereotype. Everyone knows that they prefer to be called Chinamen. Besides, I would never intentionally insult them. I, for one, welcome our new Asian overlords

Gravity's Silhouette wrote:

Come on, Hornet. Don't you know me by now?

It was a joke.

I offered you the benefit of the doubt once before, over the Titanic incident, and got a highly imaginative history lesson in response. You never claimed that that was a joke, so no, I guess I don't know you that well yet.

So just remember, like Chris Elliot under the bleachers on the David Letterman Show:

"I'll be watching you, Grav. I'll be watching you - all the time - making your life - a living hell!"

(BTW, I did get the joke at the end of your last post - LOL!)

AMC Hornet wrote:

I offered you the benefit of the doubt once before, over the Titanic incident, and got a highly imaginative history lesson in response. You never claimed that that was a joke, so no, I guess I don't know you that well yet.

I think you have simply forgotten . Over at CBn you seemed to quite clearly get my revisionist history joke of the sinking of the RMS Titanic, and how it led to Roosevelt entering World War 2. I was sure you did. Based upon your responses it seemed as if you "got it"...and to remove any doubt that I was joking I just dug in deeper.

Quote :

(BTW, I did get the joke at the end of your last post - LOL!)

Prove it. Please tell me what the reference was to.

Ed Tom Kowalsky wrote:

Prince Kamal Khan wrote:

Tanya Roberts is low on my list but if you think about it, she was supposed to playing a California state employee. Hence, brilliance is not to be expected.

Truer words were never written!

Thank you, sir! 8)

Gravity's Silhouette wrote:

[. Everyone knows that they [the Japanese] prefer to be called Chinamen.

Har de har har har, kaf kaf.

As for the bit about 'our new Asian overlords,' maybe that's not a joke...

(And if you know me by now, you'll know that I always add ellipses after deliberately saying something facetious.)

And what happened to your avatar? Mark McKinney, good Canadian boy - put him back up!